I'm hungry for knowledge
of you
and yours
of the earth
and its wisdom.
I'm hungry for knowledge
of the truth
and it's riches
of the absolute lies
and their crimes against us.
I'm hungry for knowledge
of love
and hate
of natural luxury
and bare necessities.
I'm hungry
and hope I remain hungry.
2010년 11월 23일 화요일
Escape Plans
It just got real.What the fuck are you going to do?
I've been here for a little over two years. This is one of the last bastions of toe to toe war status. While it has become one of the select few case studies for econometricians to use as a blueprint delineating a 'how to' for the developing world, all is not calm on land this morning. Most citizens pour down into the subways in the mornings and spout out of them during the reverse rush hours like it's New York City, however, there be no apple here; the only thing red is to our North.
At times the tension flows from the atmosphere in reverse osmosis fashion creating a palpable fear-like pudding that surrounds everyone, slowing their movements to Bill Cosbyesque drawl like tempos; if only for a few seconds at a time. This happens during the regularly scheduled military exercises where the jets screech over our heads in the metallic cold rhythmically precise guillotine fashion that is war, reminding us all of what was and could imminently be.
The boat sank, was sunk, or sunk itself; 46 of this countries soldiers perished. Politicians officially won't or don't want to admit what really happened to save face and avoid the choice of actually going back to war.Today the North OFFICIALLY shelled Younpyong-do killing 2, wounding 19 more. Shit's like a hernia; you can push your intestine back below the stomach lining it popped out of, but it'll keep popping back out. Each time it rears it's shitty head it hurts more and becomes progressively more of a Jew demanding more time, energy and money be spent on rectifying its shitty predicament.
Shit is still popped out all mangled like and the international realm is just gawking at it, or as the case may be, intentionally omitting it from popular discourse. Unfortunately, this time it may have ruptured itself and has the potential to spew its gastric acid all around the surrounding vital organs. If/when it starts to rain acid, to quote the indefatigable master of war imbedded prose, Mohammed the prophet, "the fuck you gonna do?"
Living in this splintered cell world, where would you meet up with your family or loved ones in the event of a military strike above our heads? Are you going to be the Prometheus and wield the power of the cosmos, or will you be burnt out like Bob's lazy ass. Do you have any inkling of what you can fit in a sack that you will have strapped to your back all perpetual like, back to the wind facing the dawning of a new day? Most importantly, can you steam up some bomb rice without a fucking electric rice cooker?
Should a major offensive war break out today, it would be more destructive then anything the world has ever seen, not simply due to the highly sophisticated nature of military weaponry today and the ease at which it can be procured (fucking pirates that roam the coast of Africa have fucking sonar and anti-aircraft rocket launchers...) but it would be owing to the fact that very few people are capable of living with the earth and survivingin tandem with it. Fuck military training, how about sleeping bag and camp fire training?
I've been here for a little over two years. This is one of the last bastions of toe to toe war status. While it has become one of the select few case studies for econometricians to use as a blueprint delineating a 'how to' for the developing world, all is not calm on land this morning. Most citizens pour down into the subways in the mornings and spout out of them during the reverse rush hours like it's New York City, however, there be no apple here; the only thing red is to our North.
At times the tension flows from the atmosphere in reverse osmosis fashion creating a palpable fear-like pudding that surrounds everyone, slowing their movements to Bill Cosbyesque drawl like tempos; if only for a few seconds at a time. This happens during the regularly scheduled military exercises where the jets screech over our heads in the metallic cold rhythmically precise guillotine fashion that is war, reminding us all of what was and could imminently be.
The boat sank, was sunk, or sunk itself; 46 of this countries soldiers perished. Politicians officially won't or don't want to admit what really happened to save face and avoid the choice of actually going back to war.Today the North OFFICIALLY shelled Younpyong-do killing 2, wounding 19 more. Shit's like a hernia; you can push your intestine back below the stomach lining it popped out of, but it'll keep popping back out. Each time it rears it's shitty head it hurts more and becomes progressively more of a Jew demanding more time, energy and money be spent on rectifying its shitty predicament.
Shit is still popped out all mangled like and the international realm is just gawking at it, or as the case may be, intentionally omitting it from popular discourse. Unfortunately, this time it may have ruptured itself and has the potential to spew its gastric acid all around the surrounding vital organs. If/when it starts to rain acid, to quote the indefatigable master of war imbedded prose, Mohammed the prophet, "the fuck you gonna do?"
Living in this splintered cell world, where would you meet up with your family or loved ones in the event of a military strike above our heads? Are you going to be the Prometheus and wield the power of the cosmos, or will you be burnt out like Bob's lazy ass. Do you have any inkling of what you can fit in a sack that you will have strapped to your back all perpetual like, back to the wind facing the dawning of a new day? Most importantly, can you steam up some bomb rice without a fucking electric rice cooker?
Should a major offensive war break out today, it would be more destructive then anything the world has ever seen, not simply due to the highly sophisticated nature of military weaponry today and the ease at which it can be procured (fucking pirates that roam the coast of Africa have fucking sonar and anti-aircraft rocket launchers...) but it would be owing to the fact that very few people are capable of living with the earth and survivingin tandem with it. Fuck military training, how about sleeping bag and camp fire training?
2010년 11월 22일 월요일
Dead November
Today marks the death of November. Those reds, golds, oranges and chinese yellows flutter no more. Under ones foot, walking by oblivious they lie. Tears run out their vains till they breath their last; left as brown castes of their former glory. All that is left is the heartless trampling. Oblittering all memory of their beauty is how we will survive these impending months of colorlessness... Foolish thoughts all ye philistines bear. You may drudge through in the grayness of ye mire buy not I...not I this time. For I have saved life in my portable heart. When your death comes round but a flick flick of my thumb on it's living glass and saved am I. That's right, this winter will be one of life; one of color; one of perpetual beauty.
2010년 11월 16일 화요일
You say 'Democracy'
Democracy is a term not much unlike that pasty skinned goth chick sitting at the back of your sophomore chemistry class. It is often cut up, passed around, turned inside out and generally taken for granted by most people; even those nearest and supposedly dearest.
While most people in the free world cite the idea of 'democracy' as one of the crowning achievements of the Western world, I would first like to say the idea and form has existed in the East centuries prior (e.g. 民本主義 or 민본주의 or the populace as the root of rule in Korean) so the persistent egotism and, if I dare say, prejudiced bias surrounding the term should cease. "The diamond of the world" or "The diamond of mankind's history" would be much more apt expressions.
But I digress; the points I would like to make are twofold: Firstly, I would like to proffer my personal definition of 'democracy' quoted from the often overlooked Libertarian Political-Philospher of the UofC school Henry Simons; and Secondly, I will raise the importance and necessity of living for life juxtaposing that life system with the contemporary conceptual prison society finds itself locked in guarded by the almighty dollar.
Democracy is "...government by discussion and consensus...and political consensus, especially at the higher and highest levels, focused on clear-cut, general rules of law and policy. It is such a discussion that feeds the growth and diffusion of the moral consensus. Only from slow action out of such a discussion may a nation build solidly and progressively the principles and working rules which afford political security and economic stability. Only by adherence to the rule of law and to announced rules of policy may a people have strong government without granting inordinate, arbitrary power to ruling parties, factions and majorities of the moment. Only thus may freedom be protected..." (Simons, Econ. Policy for a Free Society, pg. 19)
"The alternative is "plebicitary democracy," the antithesis of libertarian government. Elections then merely choose among leaders or factions. Campaigns are mere contests for power - slogan-mongering, promising everything to all minorities save the scapegoats, absurd eulogies and vilifications. Platforms are unprincipled in themselves and binding, if at all, only during the campaign. Parties are simply organizations for promising and dispensing patronage, standing for nothing but unlimited prerogative of tactical opportunism, either as "government" or "opposition" (if any). Such, at all events, is the meaning of government by men as the antithesis of government by law and policy rules." (Simons, Econ. Policy for a Free Society, pg. 19)
To make it quite explicit I am in favor of, in the context of the American political spectrum, Libertarian Democracy; as defined as a hybrid form of Democracy and Aristocracy. Where all members of the nation state are citizens in the sense that their main focus or occupations reside not in the government but in the private sector and the day-to-day government consists of a small number of individuals in comparison to the overall population of citizens. Although this is obviously not quite ideal given the sheer size of the American continent and population, it appears to me at least to be the most efficient, least intrusive and fairest.
This form of government is what the founding fathers created. A country free under the rule of just law. However, as we can see in the contemporary realm of politics that this law and legislation and the overall state of politics has fallen into the category of 'plebicitary democracy' defined above. Recalling Rousseau's misgivings toward the feasibility of true democracy in states of large size and population, it is clear to see and more importantly can be overtly sensed that it is the influence of the various private interests in public affairs at the root of the problem; in short, the corruption of the legislative body. Taking the tax code as an example, government is convoluted leading to a drastic increase of esoteric business and tireless, unceasing discussions; and no considerable degree of equality exists coupled with great luxury that are the possessions of but a small minority corrupting both rich and poor at once, one through possession, the other through vanity; it has put the country on sale to vanity and soft living; it has deprived the state of all its citizens, making each of them subject to the other, and all of them to public opinion.
A degree of virtue is required in every citizen to prefer freedom regardless of the instability and dangers coupled with it as opposed to tranquility and servitude. Obviously this virtue espoused in Rousseau's 'The Social Contract' or as I like to refer to it as the "Character of Gods" is absent in contemporary America and has been for some time. Thus, the country's political state has fallen into the abyss of "plebicitary democracy," a vicious cycle flaring up at every electoral interval. Even the Judicial branch, following the Executive and Legislative branches has succumbed as evidence to the recent supreme court rulings regarding the "humanity" of corporations and legality of private undisclosed campaign funding.
Emphasis placed on such an abstract and ideal notion such as 'virtue' has long been esteemed in Eastern philosophy with unlikely a bigger proponent or laudable figure as Confucius. To quote from the second book of The Analects entitled 'Administration' or ‘為政’ chapter 3, "Confucius said, "If the people be led by laws and punitive measures to bring about uniformity they will seek to evade punishments and not know shame. If the people be led by virtue and courtesy and etiquette to bring about conformity they will have shame and know the difference between good and bad."" ［子曰“道之以政， 齊之以刑，民免而無恥。道之以德，齊之以禮，有恥且格。”］Is this the virtue Rousseau spoke of? The virtue he so eloquently decried as being a pipe dream only suited for Gods?
The perception of what a God is differs when viewed from a Western perspective and Eastern point of view. Western theologies have stripped mankind of the direct links to omniscience of the mind and heart leaving only a vague and metaphysical dotted line leading towards the Gods. Eastern thought, specifically traditional and pre-imperialist thought, on the other hand, emphasizes that every man and woman is capable of achieving and possesses "godliness." Confucianism, Buddhism, Taoism etc... all have titles for the "godlike" state or peak state of the enlightened. Therefore Eastern thought produces a more humanistic state of mind and consequently the hitherto metaphysical ideal of virtuousness and virtuosity, being a part of human existence, is materially and temporally closer and more attainable. It moves from the realm of idealism which implies an otherworldly connection and thus risks ostracizing many who feel that they are not worthy of the gods, into the world in which we live turning it into the most equal yet significant goal of each and every individual performing in the concert of humanity.
At this point I would like to bring up my second point; the importance of living for life. When I say living for life, there is an inherent assumption and acceptance that everyone has different preferences and the idea of an all encompassing secular or societal goal will not and hasn't worked evidenced through such failures and imminent failures as the former USSR and the DPRK. Living for life is the daily struggle to refine oneself and try to develop ones every faculty, with the metaphysical goal of sharpening each and every aspect to its highest point eventually coalescing at the "God" point; seeing the world through a pure lens and reflecting oneself back onto the world. That reflection is virtue. Virtue isn't just found in the end, but during the stages of leading up to the the point where one exits this world and the conscious acknowledgment of such a process.
This stage and process is more eloquently explained in The Dao and Self-Independence of the Korean People (韓國人의 主體性과 道）the seminal work written by one of Korea's original founding fathers of modern psychiatry and more importantly taoistic psychiatry, Dr. Dong-shik Lee (이동식 박사님). The 'Self-Independence' is simply stated the point at which and individual becomes the main actor of one's own life and the pinnacle of such a mind state being found in the words of Buddah, “In terms of myself, in this universe the most revered being is Me." (天上天下唯我獨尊）Without self-reverence and respect how can one respect anyone else. So what is to say that our current generation with its innumerable scientific and technological advances hasn't already achieved this?
Referring briefly back to Rousseau's quote regarding luxury, it deflects everyones attention to superfluities that benefit no-one. In other words our societies life quest for money in the name of capitalism acts as a deflector taking our minds off of ourselves, and thus off of our fellow man onto an inanimate abstract nothingness. Is there any room to question what is the root of the unspeakable inhumanity (you fill in the ______ in terms of what atrocities have been committed or are still underway....) our generation is witnessing? To clarify, of course it is not money itself that is the problem, but our preoccupation with it. The same can be said of religion in the past and now that perverted mans eyes away from himself to a nothingness above. An the Warring past of Asia that despite the teachings and nominal state religions of Confucianism, saw leaders diverting the eyes of the people onto the conquest of abstract territorial power. These diversions are labeled ‘礙膺之物’ or objects that obstruct/hinder the heart or in other words unhealthy obsessions; true addiction.
The only way to get rid of such obsessions is to admit that such a problem exists. There be no methadone for the masses to estrange itself from its opiate. Time is necessary, and more importantly our leaders need to help set examples and lead themselves in a healthier way. I'm afraid that there is no pre-fab model for this either. However, the answer lies in education. I repeat education as an enlightening process as opposed to the indoctrination that has persisted until present day in most schools. To emphasize the need for reform in education, one need not argue on such an abstract and metaphysical basis because the three elements that currently define and control our era and the world itself, science, economics, and political technology are taught to not a single student with the exception of science although the quality is extremely sub-par. It is extremely dumb founding as to the extent that the masses have been misdirected from the forces that affect their everyday lives to the pursuit of such an abstract commodity.
More needs to be written. More needs to be said. More needs to be done.
While most people in the free world cite the idea of 'democracy' as one of the crowning achievements of the Western world, I would first like to say the idea and form has existed in the East centuries prior (e.g. 民本主義 or 민본주의 or the populace as the root of rule in Korean) so the persistent egotism and, if I dare say, prejudiced bias surrounding the term should cease. "The diamond of the world" or "The diamond of mankind's history" would be much more apt expressions.
But I digress; the points I would like to make are twofold: Firstly, I would like to proffer my personal definition of 'democracy' quoted from the often overlooked Libertarian Political-Philospher of the UofC school Henry Simons; and Secondly, I will raise the importance and necessity of living for life juxtaposing that life system with the contemporary conceptual prison society finds itself locked in guarded by the almighty dollar.
Democracy is "...government by discussion and consensus...and political consensus, especially at the higher and highest levels, focused on clear-cut, general rules of law and policy. It is such a discussion that feeds the growth and diffusion of the moral consensus. Only from slow action out of such a discussion may a nation build solidly and progressively the principles and working rules which afford political security and economic stability. Only by adherence to the rule of law and to announced rules of policy may a people have strong government without granting inordinate, arbitrary power to ruling parties, factions and majorities of the moment. Only thus may freedom be protected..." (Simons, Econ. Policy for a Free Society, pg. 19)
"The alternative is "plebicitary democracy," the antithesis of libertarian government. Elections then merely choose among leaders or factions. Campaigns are mere contests for power - slogan-mongering, promising everything to all minorities save the scapegoats, absurd eulogies and vilifications. Platforms are unprincipled in themselves and binding, if at all, only during the campaign. Parties are simply organizations for promising and dispensing patronage, standing for nothing but unlimited prerogative of tactical opportunism, either as "government" or "opposition" (if any). Such, at all events, is the meaning of government by men as the antithesis of government by law and policy rules." (Simons, Econ. Policy for a Free Society, pg. 19)
To make it quite explicit I am in favor of, in the context of the American political spectrum, Libertarian Democracy; as defined as a hybrid form of Democracy and Aristocracy. Where all members of the nation state are citizens in the sense that their main focus or occupations reside not in the government but in the private sector and the day-to-day government consists of a small number of individuals in comparison to the overall population of citizens. Although this is obviously not quite ideal given the sheer size of the American continent and population, it appears to me at least to be the most efficient, least intrusive and fairest.
This form of government is what the founding fathers created. A country free under the rule of just law. However, as we can see in the contemporary realm of politics that this law and legislation and the overall state of politics has fallen into the category of 'plebicitary democracy' defined above. Recalling Rousseau's misgivings toward the feasibility of true democracy in states of large size and population, it is clear to see and more importantly can be overtly sensed that it is the influence of the various private interests in public affairs at the root of the problem; in short, the corruption of the legislative body. Taking the tax code as an example, government is convoluted leading to a drastic increase of esoteric business and tireless, unceasing discussions; and no considerable degree of equality exists coupled with great luxury that are the possessions of but a small minority corrupting both rich and poor at once, one through possession, the other through vanity; it has put the country on sale to vanity and soft living; it has deprived the state of all its citizens, making each of them subject to the other, and all of them to public opinion.
A degree of virtue is required in every citizen to prefer freedom regardless of the instability and dangers coupled with it as opposed to tranquility and servitude. Obviously this virtue espoused in Rousseau's 'The Social Contract' or as I like to refer to it as the "Character of Gods" is absent in contemporary America and has been for some time. Thus, the country's political state has fallen into the abyss of "plebicitary democracy," a vicious cycle flaring up at every electoral interval. Even the Judicial branch, following the Executive and Legislative branches has succumbed as evidence to the recent supreme court rulings regarding the "humanity" of corporations and legality of private undisclosed campaign funding.
Emphasis placed on such an abstract and ideal notion such as 'virtue' has long been esteemed in Eastern philosophy with unlikely a bigger proponent or laudable figure as Confucius. To quote from the second book of The Analects entitled 'Administration' or ‘為政’ chapter 3, "Confucius said, "If the people be led by laws and punitive measures to bring about uniformity they will seek to evade punishments and not know shame. If the people be led by virtue and courtesy and etiquette to bring about conformity they will have shame and know the difference between good and bad."" ［子曰“道之以政， 齊之以刑，民免而無恥。道之以德，齊之以禮，有恥且格。”］Is this the virtue Rousseau spoke of? The virtue he so eloquently decried as being a pipe dream only suited for Gods?
The perception of what a God is differs when viewed from a Western perspective and Eastern point of view. Western theologies have stripped mankind of the direct links to omniscience of the mind and heart leaving only a vague and metaphysical dotted line leading towards the Gods. Eastern thought, specifically traditional and pre-imperialist thought, on the other hand, emphasizes that every man and woman is capable of achieving and possesses "godliness." Confucianism, Buddhism, Taoism etc... all have titles for the "godlike" state or peak state of the enlightened. Therefore Eastern thought produces a more humanistic state of mind and consequently the hitherto metaphysical ideal of virtuousness and virtuosity, being a part of human existence, is materially and temporally closer and more attainable. It moves from the realm of idealism which implies an otherworldly connection and thus risks ostracizing many who feel that they are not worthy of the gods, into the world in which we live turning it into the most equal yet significant goal of each and every individual performing in the concert of humanity.
At this point I would like to bring up my second point; the importance of living for life. When I say living for life, there is an inherent assumption and acceptance that everyone has different preferences and the idea of an all encompassing secular or societal goal will not and hasn't worked evidenced through such failures and imminent failures as the former USSR and the DPRK. Living for life is the daily struggle to refine oneself and try to develop ones every faculty, with the metaphysical goal of sharpening each and every aspect to its highest point eventually coalescing at the "God" point; seeing the world through a pure lens and reflecting oneself back onto the world. That reflection is virtue. Virtue isn't just found in the end, but during the stages of leading up to the the point where one exits this world and the conscious acknowledgment of such a process.
This stage and process is more eloquently explained in The Dao and Self-Independence of the Korean People (韓國人의 主體性과 道）the seminal work written by one of Korea's original founding fathers of modern psychiatry and more importantly taoistic psychiatry, Dr. Dong-shik Lee (이동식 박사님). The 'Self-Independence' is simply stated the point at which and individual becomes the main actor of one's own life and the pinnacle of such a mind state being found in the words of Buddah, “In terms of myself, in this universe the most revered being is Me." (天上天下唯我獨尊）Without self-reverence and respect how can one respect anyone else. So what is to say that our current generation with its innumerable scientific and technological advances hasn't already achieved this?
Referring briefly back to Rousseau's quote regarding luxury, it deflects everyones attention to superfluities that benefit no-one. In other words our societies life quest for money in the name of capitalism acts as a deflector taking our minds off of ourselves, and thus off of our fellow man onto an inanimate abstract nothingness. Is there any room to question what is the root of the unspeakable inhumanity (you fill in the ______ in terms of what atrocities have been committed or are still underway....) our generation is witnessing? To clarify, of course it is not money itself that is the problem, but our preoccupation with it. The same can be said of religion in the past and now that perverted mans eyes away from himself to a nothingness above. An the Warring past of Asia that despite the teachings and nominal state religions of Confucianism, saw leaders diverting the eyes of the people onto the conquest of abstract territorial power. These diversions are labeled ‘礙膺之物’ or objects that obstruct/hinder the heart or in other words unhealthy obsessions; true addiction.
The only way to get rid of such obsessions is to admit that such a problem exists. There be no methadone for the masses to estrange itself from its opiate. Time is necessary, and more importantly our leaders need to help set examples and lead themselves in a healthier way. I'm afraid that there is no pre-fab model for this either. However, the answer lies in education. I repeat education as an enlightening process as opposed to the indoctrination that has persisted until present day in most schools. To emphasize the need for reform in education, one need not argue on such an abstract and metaphysical basis because the three elements that currently define and control our era and the world itself, science, economics, and political technology are taught to not a single student with the exception of science although the quality is extremely sub-par. It is extremely dumb founding as to the extent that the masses have been misdirected from the forces that affect their everyday lives to the pursuit of such an abstract commodity.
More needs to be written. More needs to be said. More needs to be done.
2010년 11월 14일 일요일
2010년 11월 2일 화요일
Are you "Checking out?"
It's happening again. This ball and chain I have bolted around my chaffing right ankle is being picked up by the hands of time. With a jolt the chain is jerked hard sending me crashing to the ground. Fingernails splintering over the rock crusted road as I'm being dragged forward like a speeding train I grope frantically for any firm hold, moving ever faster towards the upcoming new year. I know what fate awaits; I will undoubtably be dropped on my ass only to be faced with the same Sisyphusean cycle again.
2010년 10월 22일 금요일
쉬즈모 (徐志摩）
徐志摩(1897-1931)는 중국 현대문학사 중 대표 시인이며 중국 문학 경계를 넘어서 세계 문학계에게 혁명적인 영향을 끼친 중대한 인물이었다. 《굿바이 캠브리지 (再见康桥）》，《눈꽃의 기쁨（雪花快乐）》, 《우연 (偶然）》은 주요 작품. 쉬즈모는 또한 여러 문학 단체에 활약하게 참여하였으며 1920대 중에 소위 '사상문학혁명'을 제창한 후스(胡适）, 이른바 '삼미(三美）를 제기한 원이두(闻一多)등이랑 낭만주의에 바탕을 둔 신월파 (新月社)를 결성하였다.
신월파는 당시에 활발한 창조파(创造社）의 분발한 상상력과 자유체 의 시형을 주장한 낭만주의적인 시의 운동을 계승하면서 또한 그것을 부정•극복하고자 한 시인 그룹이었다. 그들은 시인의 이상에 근거하여 자연과 사회 속에서 아름다움을 더 정련해 내고자 했으며, 이로부터 '이성에 의한 감정의 절제'라는 미학 원칙과 '시형식의 격률화"라는 주장을 제기하였다. 결국 그들의 격률시는 감정과 정서를 시의 핵심을 보면서도 이를 응축한 시 형식 속에서 정련화하려는 의식적 노력의 성과였다고 하겠다.
여기에서 '이성에 의한 감정의 절제'가 추구하는 것은 주관적 감정 토로에서부터 주관적 감정의 객관적 대사화이었다. 이를 예술적 상상과 구체적인 객관 현실에로의 변화를 통해 함축적•형상적인 표현을 이루어 내고자 하였다. 또한 이러한 미학의 원칙을 구현하기 위해, 그들은 시적 감정을 엄격히 규범화된 형식 속에 정제시키기 위한 시의 격률화를 제기하였다. 위에서 언급된 '삼미' 즉 음악미, 회화미, 검축미를 추구하였다.
쉬즈모는 낭미주의적 시를 상징한 자유, 사랑 및 아름다움의 추구를 통해 내면의 정감과 독특한 개성을 객관 사물의 이미지 속에 투사해 내면서, 한편 시의 내재적 형짓미와 음악 미의 조화를 바탕으로 한 미적 내용과 형식의 통일을 모색하였다. 역설적이게도 이러한 아름다운 사랑의 탐구를 중국 현대역사 중 가장 추하고 폭력적인 시적 때 진행한 것이다.
*공사중*
신월파는 당시에 활발한 창조파(创造社）의 분발한 상상력과 자유체 의 시형을 주장한 낭만주의적인 시의 운동을 계승하면서 또한 그것을 부정•극복하고자 한 시인 그룹이었다. 그들은 시인의 이상에 근거하여 자연과 사회 속에서 아름다움을 더 정련해 내고자 했으며, 이로부터 '이성에 의한 감정의 절제'라는 미학 원칙과 '시형식의 격률화"라는 주장을 제기하였다. 결국 그들의 격률시는 감정과 정서를 시의 핵심을 보면서도 이를 응축한 시 형식 속에서 정련화하려는 의식적 노력의 성과였다고 하겠다.
여기에서 '이성에 의한 감정의 절제'가 추구하는 것은 주관적 감정 토로에서부터 주관적 감정의 객관적 대사화이었다. 이를 예술적 상상과 구체적인 객관 현실에로의 변화를 통해 함축적•형상적인 표현을 이루어 내고자 하였다. 또한 이러한 미학의 원칙을 구현하기 위해, 그들은 시적 감정을 엄격히 규범화된 형식 속에 정제시키기 위한 시의 격률화를 제기하였다. 위에서 언급된 '삼미' 즉 음악미, 회화미, 검축미를 추구하였다.
쉬즈모는 낭미주의적 시를 상징한 자유, 사랑 및 아름다움의 추구를 통해 내면의 정감과 독특한 개성을 객관 사물의 이미지 속에 투사해 내면서, 한편 시의 내재적 형짓미와 음악 미의 조화를 바탕으로 한 미적 내용과 형식의 통일을 모색하였다. 역설적이게도 이러한 아름다운 사랑의 탐구를 중국 현대역사 중 가장 추하고 폭력적인 시적 때 진행한 것이다.
*공사중*
2010년 10월 14일 목요일
Hey man
Mi blood is blue
sometimes red.
You're black,
I'm white he's yellow and she's tan.
We're all the same
you're not
he is
but not her
I stand on my hands
fuck my face
fuck you!
Shit's up
shit's down
it's all around
but you
I am speaking to YOU!
Sit on your hands
your feet
your dick and ass
and apparently lips.
Fuck everyone.
I guess...
sometimes red.
You're black,
I'm white he's yellow and she's tan.
We're all the same
you're not
he is
but not her
I stand on my hands
fuck my face
fuck you!
Shit's up
shit's down
it's all around
but you
I am speaking to YOU!
Sit on your hands
your feet
your dick and ass
and apparently lips.
I stand on my hands
fuck my face
fuck you!
Fuck everyone.
I guess...
2010년 10월 3일 일요일
An Evolution in Musical Aesthetic
Performance. For far too long it has been neglected or accepted as a given following the innovations that had been wrought by some of the 60's and 70's leading innovators in the art of the musical performance. The Who, Hendrix, Pink Floyd, Ozzy Osbourne etc... To compile a thorough list is a job for another time, but suffice it to say that since the mid-80's due perhaps to the standardization of sound and performances featured in music videos and rap music as a new genre, the musical performance itself has, at least to this writer, felt and appeared to be rather sterile and meant for reproduction over and over.
Rock music has had the luxury of the 'Jam' or the 'Freestyle' in Hip-hop; that is to say nominal musical ad-lib during a live performance to serve in a guise as a brand new gift to the crowd to provide a sense of innovative creation. This element, however, usually adds little to nothing to the overall musical aesthetic if it doesn't negate from the overall production as a contrived superfluity. Musical aesthetic is a term that refers to the visual aspects of a musical performance (i.e. wardrobe, style of performance, colors and their symbolic importance as they relate to lyrics and the tenor of each song/set, background visuals/movements, and most importantly source of sound) and their emotional contribution to the overall musical performance.
Kanye West as an impetus; an impetus of change and evolution in musical aestheticism. After viewing his recent performances on the MTV Music Video Awards and on the October 2nd episode of SNL it's apparent that the movement begun by the Philadelphia based live instrumental Hip-hop collective known as the Roots, picked up by Mr. West beginning with is 'Late Registration' that witnessed a live orchestra performance has culminated in the complete deconstruction of the musical performance. A deconstruction not only in regards to Hip-hop, but as Linkin Park is also intimating at with their own deconstructed theatrical performances of our contemporary musical zeitgeist if you will.
In the language of the culinary sciences, a food properly deconstructed will maintain the essence of whatever food that is being deconstructed (e.g. taste and flavor levels) but will present the cuisine in a totally different manner often utilizing subterfuge in an attempt to psychologically manipulate onlookers expectations and palate. The pinnacle achievement of a truly great deconstructed food is to elicit an even greater emotional response from the taster; a feat synonymous with the creation of an even higher level of refinement and overall product.
The recent performances of Mr. West's are the epitome and, at the least, most contemporary if not only example of live musical deconstruction. Specifically speaking on behalf of Hip-hop, aside from the previously enumerated examples and the hackneyed DJ, Hip-hop performance has been similar to Georgian Architecture in the sense it has tried to hide all production from view and has kept the focal point on the performers only. The Roots brought the instruments back along with Mr. West's Orchestral arrangement, but his recent performances featured perhaps the very electronic beat machine used to create the song being performed, something that hitherto has remained in the production studio hidden during actual performances, with a twist.
At the beginning for "Runawayz" Mr. West seemingly punches in the ambient piano echos that loop over followed by the pre-selected bass-line and other complementing sounds. During the performance beautiful ballerinas pulsate and contort to the various tenors and pitches of the song re-creating what the electronic visualizations seen in Windows Media Player and more successfully in Apple Itunes. He also had fun with censorship and instead of either omitting the word in question or substituting an alternative word, he punched on stage a key with pre-record "'Hey!' in addition to adding new sound levels by superseding the DJ hitting with varying rapidity and frequency a few other pre-recorded sayings such as "Look at you!"
The red suit with gold accouterment, symbolizing the bleeding heart of musical royalty convulsing over an all white stage is powerful visual imagery serving to reinforce the base-emotion and raw essence that his new songs are implying. His movements on stage carry the same implications, contorting his body like the emotion he has experienced over the course of the past few years that twisted his psyche and soul. Mr. West has stripped all of the superfluities and ostentatious display for displays sake away from the performance, leaving only raw symbolic emotions and a deconstructed performance coalescing into a new pinnacle of musical aesthetic.
Rock music has had the luxury of the 'Jam' or the 'Freestyle' in Hip-hop; that is to say nominal musical ad-lib during a live performance to serve in a guise as a brand new gift to the crowd to provide a sense of innovative creation. This element, however, usually adds little to nothing to the overall musical aesthetic if it doesn't negate from the overall production as a contrived superfluity. Musical aesthetic is a term that refers to the visual aspects of a musical performance (i.e. wardrobe, style of performance, colors and their symbolic importance as they relate to lyrics and the tenor of each song/set, background visuals/movements, and most importantly source of sound) and their emotional contribution to the overall musical performance.
Kanye West as an impetus; an impetus of change and evolution in musical aestheticism. After viewing his recent performances on the MTV Music Video Awards and on the October 2nd episode of SNL it's apparent that the movement begun by the Philadelphia based live instrumental Hip-hop collective known as the Roots, picked up by Mr. West beginning with is 'Late Registration' that witnessed a live orchestra performance has culminated in the complete deconstruction of the musical performance. A deconstruction not only in regards to Hip-hop, but as Linkin Park is also intimating at with their own deconstructed theatrical performances of our contemporary musical zeitgeist if you will.
In the language of the culinary sciences, a food properly deconstructed will maintain the essence of whatever food that is being deconstructed (e.g. taste and flavor levels) but will present the cuisine in a totally different manner often utilizing subterfuge in an attempt to psychologically manipulate onlookers expectations and palate. The pinnacle achievement of a truly great deconstructed food is to elicit an even greater emotional response from the taster; a feat synonymous with the creation of an even higher level of refinement and overall product.
The recent performances of Mr. West's are the epitome and, at the least, most contemporary if not only example of live musical deconstruction. Specifically speaking on behalf of Hip-hop, aside from the previously enumerated examples and the hackneyed DJ, Hip-hop performance has been similar to Georgian Architecture in the sense it has tried to hide all production from view and has kept the focal point on the performers only. The Roots brought the instruments back along with Mr. West's Orchestral arrangement, but his recent performances featured perhaps the very electronic beat machine used to create the song being performed, something that hitherto has remained in the production studio hidden during actual performances, with a twist.
At the beginning for "Runawayz" Mr. West seemingly punches in the ambient piano echos that loop over followed by the pre-selected bass-line and other complementing sounds. During the performance beautiful ballerinas pulsate and contort to the various tenors and pitches of the song re-creating what the electronic visualizations seen in Windows Media Player and more successfully in Apple Itunes. He also had fun with censorship and instead of either omitting the word in question or substituting an alternative word, he punched on stage a key with pre-record "'Hey!' in addition to adding new sound levels by superseding the DJ hitting with varying rapidity and frequency a few other pre-recorded sayings such as "Look at you!"
The red suit with gold accouterment, symbolizing the bleeding heart of musical royalty convulsing over an all white stage is powerful visual imagery serving to reinforce the base-emotion and raw essence that his new songs are implying. His movements on stage carry the same implications, contorting his body like the emotion he has experienced over the course of the past few years that twisted his psyche and soul. Mr. West has stripped all of the superfluities and ostentatious display for displays sake away from the performance, leaving only raw symbolic emotions and a deconstructed performance coalescing into a new pinnacle of musical aesthetic.
2010년 9월 7일 화요일
물음표 물음표 물음표
바로 이 순간에 이제까지 내가 이 24년 동안 함부로 이용해온 몸집의 온힘으로 견디고 버텼던 회오리바람이 다가오는 듯한 미래가 마침내 도착했다.
40박40일 동안 사막생활을 견뎌냈던 예스 크리스토같은 건조된 내 입술에서 패배의 숨막힌 소리가 나왔다.
지금 내가 마주보고 있는 것은 날 한입으로 먹어벌릴 수 있는 침을 튀기는 미래의 크게 벌인 입이지.
아무리 그래도 난 후회 따위는 없다.
이 순간은 바로 내 마지막 기회이니까.
과연 인연의 신들이 내 불확실한 장래를 어떻게 짤까???
답할 수 있는 건 바로 물음표 물음표 물음표일뿐.
40박40일 동안 사막생활을 견뎌냈던 예스 크리스토같은 건조된 내 입술에서 패배의 숨막힌 소리가 나왔다.
지금 내가 마주보고 있는 것은 날 한입으로 먹어벌릴 수 있는 침을 튀기는 미래의 크게 벌인 입이지.
아무리 그래도 난 후회 따위는 없다.
이 순간은 바로 내 마지막 기회이니까.
과연 인연의 신들이 내 불확실한 장래를 어떻게 짤까???
답할 수 있는 건 바로 물음표 물음표 물음표일뿐.
2010년 6월 12일 토요일
Novemeber Dusk
A man walks solitarily along 5th Ave. passing the Museum of Natural History; his bearing aimed at the rusted memory of this town. The brisk fall wind ruffles his red and black lumber-jack flannel collar protruding slightly outside a grease stained olive colored canvas jacket. Hands stuffed deep in faded, well worn light blue jeans he looks up to his left at the washed out 7 story brick apartment-esque building and continues on...
While you and I float atop my warm tannish down comforter. Light fluffy rustic melodics meander out from the speakers cones enveloping our souls. Outside the eye of my new college room, reds golds and more browns are fluttering waves obfuscating the museum behind. Blink. My hand carreses your blushed tender cheek. Blink. I feel your fingers run through my velvety locks. We stare into one anothers eyes; this is the closest we will ever be, and I know it...Blink.
Descending down a narrow tree lined dirt path behind the university, dead leaves crunching underfoot he heads toward the clouds evanescently frothing out of a factory. Nearby a bridge, it's 1970's sickly yellow paint scarred with dark cold iron veins forged by death; he stands beneath. Staring out at the horizon, warm majestic red and golden hues fill his periphery. A tear suddenly forms, wavering, then while convalescing in the corner of his eye, the sound of steel grinding enamel overtakes his soul.
While you and I float atop my warm tannish down comforter. Light fluffy rustic melodics meander out from the speakers cones enveloping our souls. Outside the eye of my new college room, reds golds and more browns are fluttering waves obfuscating the museum behind. Blink. My hand carreses your blushed tender cheek. Blink. I feel your fingers run through my velvety locks. We stare into one anothers eyes; this is the closest we will ever be, and I know it...Blink.
Descending down a narrow tree lined dirt path behind the university, dead leaves crunching underfoot he heads toward the clouds evanescently frothing out of a factory. Nearby a bridge, it's 1970's sickly yellow paint scarred with dark cold iron veins forged by death; he stands beneath. Staring out at the horizon, warm majestic red and golden hues fill his periphery. A tear suddenly forms, wavering, then while convalescing in the corner of his eye, the sound of steel grinding enamel overtakes his soul.
2010년 6월 3일 목요일
From whence we came...
Surrounded by the societal superfluities we call progress, i close my eyes and cover my ears to this world. I'm left with emptiness: the essence of utility. "Nothing," unlike zero, more like a negative harmonized with it's absolute. That is what is in all of us, that's what should be all around us. Everything we need can be found within ourselves. Journey there my friend. It's too dark you say? Then open your eyes; everything you see is you, both good and bad parts. This world is the overarching framework whereupon the archetype of our self can be expressed. Just like the sanctions we place on the DPRK, our environments have the potential to displace our instinctual energy. Every action has a reaction is the adage, and if suppressed our instincts have the potentiality to manifest into a trojan horse right in front of our own ocular receptacles.
Rape, hate, murder, pillage, plunder; what are all these actions but responses to imposed constraints? Constraints placed on us through societal regimentation, by our ancestors beliefs or by our very selves. Reverting to these states of our Raw Primitive we accept them as a conscious inevitable reality, rationalizing them with the "Law of Progress," but in actuality our consciousness has been paralyzed. Our unrestrained, unchecked, hitherto neglected sub-concious is shouting out; shouting for us to look inward as a society, as a people. Isn't it ironic how this warfare of life is so harmonious? The machine of war, so precise and methodical; a myriad of independent components working together; harmonizing and coalescing beautifully at the instant of death. This machine of death, can very easily be converted into a machine of life; the difficulty lay in the task of lifting the egoistic veil away, of cutting the pseudo-conscience spouting from external loud speakers and inserting the earbuds of the inner self of all the individual automatons.
To be continued...
Rape, hate, murder, pillage, plunder; what are all these actions but responses to imposed constraints? Constraints placed on us through societal regimentation, by our ancestors beliefs or by our very selves. Reverting to these states of our Raw Primitive we accept them as a conscious inevitable reality, rationalizing them with the "Law of Progress," but in actuality our consciousness has been paralyzed. Our unrestrained, unchecked, hitherto neglected sub-concious is shouting out; shouting for us to look inward as a society, as a people. Isn't it ironic how this warfare of life is so harmonious? The machine of war, so precise and methodical; a myriad of independent components working together; harmonizing and coalescing beautifully at the instant of death. This machine of death, can very easily be converted into a machine of life; the difficulty lay in the task of lifting the egoistic veil away, of cutting the pseudo-conscience spouting from external loud speakers and inserting the earbuds of the inner self of all the individual automatons.
To be continued...
2010년 5월 13일 목요일
There was love
There was love this day. This day last year there was love.
The light evening May breeze wisps by us as we run across the crosswalk, headlights highlighting our bemused grins and mischievous eye lock. A green bottle of soju in my hand, that plus a coke in hers, laughs leaving our lips about that joke. Her friends trailing behind, next to, and in front of us; we are at the center.
We are at that point. You can feel it. It isn't about what we say now, only the looks on our faces, our equally inclined postures towards one another and those laughs with a hand coming up to shield what hasn't been shared yet. Just call it sex. We head to the green central quad in the center of campus, walking, just living up an incline.
On the hill sips grow longer in duration, the time faster. In our reverie a call is received and we're off to a tent meeting more friends; dope as always. Laughs we share, but the countdown has begun. The wind has swept the 'tree dust' up and our time away. In that sway-sway walk-walk against time, our interlocked fingers do the talking for our minds.
This day last year there was love. There is love this day.
2010년 5월 9일 일요일
유종원 柳宗元(773-819)
중국의 당시(唐詩)라면 사람들이 자꾸 이백 李白(701-762)이나 두보 杜甫(712-770)를 무의식적으로 생각이 나게 마련이에요. 그들은 중국의 고전시뿐만 아니라 중국 문학 자체를 대표하는 시인들이기 때문이에요. 그런데 두보와 이백 이외에 또 다른 주목할 만한 시인이 누구십니까 공경하게 의문하면 제가 이렇게 대답할 거예요. 유종원이요. 저말고는 고려대의 중어중문학의 위대한 이재훈 교수님 등이 지적하듯이중국의 고전문학을 전문가로서 공부하신 학자들도 중당이나 당시 중에 유종원은 언급을 많이 받은 시인이래요.
그의 시풍은 아주 한적하고 투명하여 대부분의 전문가들에 따르면 그 시대의 매우 유행했던 산수자연의 모습과 그 속에서 체험하는 심경을 읊은 산수시로 종류되는 거예요. 유종원의 시를 감상할 때 화가가 잘 그린 그림를 눈 앞에 출현하듯이 그의 시는 잘 다듬어진 시구와 정교하고 깨끗한 풍경 묘사를 통해 산수의 신비스런 아름다움을 효과적으로 포착하고 있어요. 거의 평생을 유배지에서 보냈던 유종원은 자기가 보였던 환경을 시로 바로 그대로 간직할 수 있어요. 개인적으로 매우 재미있고 잘 지어진 유종원의 한 시를 여러분과 함께 나누워 드릴게요. 강설이라...
江雪
千山鳥飛絶, 萬徑人踪滅.
孤舟蓑笠翁, 獨釣寒江雪.
강설
온 산에 새도 날지 않고
모든 길에 인적 끊어졌다.
외로운 배에 사립 걸친 한 노인
눈 내리는 강에서 홀로 낚시 드리운다.
River Snow
Through the mountains not a bird flutters, the many trails marks now extinct.
In a lonely boat a straw hat and caped grandfather, alone holds a rod on the snow falling river.
2010년 5월 7일 금요일
헤아릴 만한 관념
인생에서는 제가 가장 감명 깊게 읽었던 책은 지난달까지 읽었던 이동식이 쓴 《한국인의 주체성과 도》이라는 책이에요. 책은 전체적으로 360 페이지로 구성되고 있는데 그중에 거의 모든 페이지에는 주목할 만한 아주 귀중한 지식이 많이 담겨 있어서 두번째로 세번째로 네번째로 읽는데도 다 파악될 수가 없을 정도이에요. 그러므로 매일밤에 이책을 한 장 한 장으로 다시 읽고 있어서 어젯밤에 재독한 '현대의 인관소외'란 장는 현대적 상황, 인간소외의 의미, 인간소외의 치료 세 부분으로 분리되고 있는데 제가 인간소외의 의미, 인간소외의 치료이란 부분에서 나온 중요하고 자기 자신의 가져온 상식을 바꾸게 한 구절을 옮겨 줄게요. 잘 읽어 주십시오^^
『 西洋의 르네상스는 틀림없이 自我의 自覺, 人間性解放의 요소를 지니고 있다. 西洋의 精神分析學的인 개념으로 르네상스의 自覺을 검토해 본다면 精神分析에서는 人間의 人格을 本能, 自我, 超自我(良心)으로 區分한다. 自我는 本能과 良心 그리고 外部環境을 知覺하고 이 3者를 조절하는 구실을 한다.
The awakening of the ego
and the liberation of human nature are indisputably linked to the Western Renaissance.
If you examine this awakening using a Western psycho-therapeutic conceptual
framework, human character is divided into instinct, ego and super-ego (i.e. conscience).
The ego perceives instincts, conscience, and the external environment. It also
controls all three of these elements.
르네상스의 自我는 이 人格의
3大 構成要素 중 自我가 아니라 주로 本能의 解放이다.
르네상스가 解放시킨 人間性은 性的 衝動,
他人을 말살하려는 競爭心,
他民族을 정복하려는 侵略的인 本能,
自然의 征服과 破壞의 衝動,
利己心 등이었다. 앞서 말한 현대의 특징은 모두가 진정한 自我의 君臨이 없는,
고삐를 잃은 破壞的인 本能 解放의 결과라는 것을 쉽게 볼 수 있다.
여기에서 우리는 西洋文化에서 일어나고 있는 진정한 自我,
진정한 人間性 回復의 움직임이 必然的으로 東洋의 휴미니즘으로 접근해 오는 것을 볼 수가 있다.
As for the ego of the
Renaissance, it wasn't the ego that controls the three main elements of human character, rather it was mainly instinctual liberation. The
instincts that the Renaissance set loose included sexual impulses, destructive competition,
the instinct to violently invade and conquer other nations and races, as well
as the urge to demolish and conquer nature, and self-centeredness. It's easy to
see our peculiar modern predicament as the result of instincts for unbridled
destructiveness freed without a controlled, true ego. Within Western Culture
presently, we can view the movements for the search of our true ego and
restoration of human nature as a necessary rapprochement with Eastern Humanism.
西洋文化에서 이러한 르네상스의 나쁜 결과를 물리치려고 일어난 思想이, 合理主意와 人間疎外의 폐단을 가장 예민하게 體驗한 키에르케고르, 니이체로부터 시작되는 일련의 實存主意事象이고, 곧 이어 나타난 것이 精神分析 카운슬링이고, 최근에는 美國에서 대두하고 있는 第三勢力의 心理的이라고도 불리는 일명 人間主意心理學 또는 存在心理學, 필자는 道心理學이라고 하는 것들이다.
In
the West an ideology has arisen to combat the terrible results of the Western
Renaissance. After the flood of existential thought that started with Soren Aabye
Kierkegaard and Friedrich W.Nietzsche - two individuals who acutely
experienced the harmful effects of rationalism and human alienation - psycho-therapeutic
counseling appeared. Now today in the United States we have what is being
coined ‘Third Force Psychology’, or humanistic psychiatry, in addition to existential
psychology. It is here that this writer would like to rename these latter instances
‘Daoistic Psychology’.
現代文明의 위기는 르네상스로부터 시작된 人間의 本能 특히 破壞的 本能이 解放된 反面,
이를 制御하는 주인인 自我의 喪失에 기인하기 때문에 이 위기의 극복은 맘포드 등이 지적한 바와 같이 本能을 調節 制御하는 自我가 回復 또는 길러져야만 한다.
On
one hand, the crisis of modern civilization arose out of liberated human instincts
– destructive instincts in particular – that started during the Renaissance, in
addition to the loss of an instinct regulating ego. Therefore, to overcome this
crisis Lewis Mumford - amongst others - has pointed out that it is imperative
to cultivate and restore an instinct regulating ego.
現代文明의 위기는 人間이 自己內面을 모르고,
따라서 內面의 破壞的인 힘을 制御하지 못하기 때문에 인간의 복지를 향상시키는 도구로 생각했던 機械의 組織이 破壞性을 띠게 되는 데 기인하므로,
이 위기의 극복은 人間이 自己內面世界를 檢討,
理解하고 스스로를 단련하고 制御하는 힘을 얻어서 內面의 破壞性을 建設的인 方向으로 이끌어가는 것,
다시 말하면 진정한 自我의 回復이요 人間性의 回復에 있다...
필자는 누차 現代西洋文明의 위기는 道로써만 극복이 가능하다고 주장한 바 있다.
The
crisis of modern civilization has arisen out of the inability of individuals to
control their destructive instincts since they don’t know they contain such
instincts in the first place. Thus it follows that since the technical
organization (which we have thought of as a tool to advance human welfare) has highlighted
these destructive instincts, it should hold that the key to overcoming this
crisis lies in each man and woman examining and understanding everything that
is inside of them. Only by understanding their true nature and tempering it so
as to regain control can they then guide their destructive instincts in
constructive directions. In other words, a return to the true ego and humanity
is needed. As this writer has oft asserted, the crisis of modern Western
civilization can only be overcome through Dao( the Way).
다시 道로 돌아가서,
道는 主體性이요 진정한 自己를 찾는 것이요,
본래의 自己로 돌아가는 것이요,
自己反省, 自己理解, 自己制御이고,
佛敎나 유교, 道敎에서의 道를 닦는 목표가 부처가 되고聖人이 되고 道人 神仙이 되는 것이기 때문에 東洋의 道의 휴미니즘은 人間의 最高成熟段階를 神으로 보는 人間觀에서 출발하고 있는 것이 이미
2,500 년 전부터의 일이다...
2010년 5월 5일 수요일
곰배령 이야기
오늘은 하루종일 시체놀이만 했어요. 그동안 중간고사를 잘 보기를 위해서 피가 날 정도로 아주 열심히 더 열심히 공부해 왔거든요. 오랜만에 진짜로 숴어서 참 잼있었네요. 정말요. 게다가 한 2년 전에 감상했던 MBC에서 나온 방송을 재방송으로 봤네요. 처음으로 봤을 때는 제가 서울에 위치하는 건국대학교의 언어교육에서 한국어를 공부하고 있는 중이었는데 아무리 방송을 잘 알아듣기 위해 노력했는데도 제가 한국어를 말하는 초보라서 전체적으로 파악되지 못 했어요. ㅠ ㅠ 어쨌든 이제는 한국어 실럭이 어느 정도 발달해서 그때보다 방송을 훨씬 더 이해했어요. 어떤 내용이냐면 인간들이 사무적이고 비인간적인 서울대도시를 떠나 강원도에 있는 곰배령이란 생태적인 낙원으로 도망쳤단 말이에요. 저는 이 사람들 참 부러웠어요. 사회적인 기대에서 자기가 스스로 풀어놓은 것이 그냥 말하는 것보다 이해 못 할 정도로 어렵거든요. 저야말로 학생이니까 이 사회에 스키니진처람 딱 달아붙이지 않는데 제 마음속에서 그런 열정이 있다기만 하면 그런 삶을 살아갈수있는 거죠. 참 좋은 삶이다...절대적인 가치평가 기준에서 이렇게 말하는 게 아니라 자기가 살고 싶은 삶을 산다는 것...이 참 좋아보였어요. 저라면? 그렇게 살 수 있을 것 같아요. 솔직히 말하면 그렇게 살고 싶어요. 하지만 부작용...도 있겠죠. 배우자가 생기면 특히 아이들 낳을 때 모두 같은 곳을 바라보기는 너무 힘이 든다는 것이죠. 그래도 거기서 살았다면 가을으로 변할 때는 새벽에 일출이 뜨기 전에 제가 손으로 만들어낸 집 뒤에 있는 삼에 정상으로 올라가고 바로 거기서 뾰족한 공기를 코로 흡수하며 새로운 날 아니라 새로운 도전을 향하는 모습이, 제가 바로 그러한 모습이 되었으면 좋지 않겠냐는 생각은 머릿속에 자꾸 떠올려요... 아무튼 오늘 방송에서 가장 감동적인 부분은 한 어린 아이가 쓴 시였어요. 구절까지는 자세히 기억을 안 나지만 그래도 옮겨 보자면...
나무는 혼자 있어서 너무 외로웠어요
그래서 하늘에서 비가 내려왔어요
비가 나무를 안아줬어요
나무는 너무 좋아서 부끄러워서 얼굴이 빨개졌어요
그게 단풍이래요
그래서 하늘에서 비가 내려왔어요
비가 나무를 안아줬어요
나무는 너무 좋아서 부끄러워서 얼굴이 빨개졌어요
그게 단풍이래요
2010년 3월 29일 월요일
소는 자기의 마음이다
尋牛圖
2. 見跡
3. 見牛
4. 得牛
5. 牧牛
6. 騎牛歸家
7. 忘牛存人
8. 人牛俱忘
9. 返本還源
10. 入廛垂手
심우도
1. 소를 찾다
2. 소의 발자국을 본다
3. 소를 본다
4. 소를 잡아 고삐를 단다
5. 소를 먹인다
6. 소를 타고 집으로 돌아간다
7. 소를 잊고 사람만 있다
8. 사람도 소도 다 잊어버린다
9. 본래의 자기로 돌아간다
10. 菩薩이 되어서 市井으로 들어가서 濟度한다
Cow Searching Model
1. You search
for the Cow.
2. You spot the
Cow's tracks
3. You see the
Cow.
4. You grab the
Cow by its reins and mount it.
5. You rear the
Cow.
6. You ride the
Cow home.
7. Your Cow is
forgotten and you remain.
8. The Cow and you
are forgotten.
9. You return to
your original self.
10. You become bodhi-sattva,
head to the streets, and help others find the Way.
처음에 보는 소는 검은 소이라고 한다. 修道를 하면 검은 소에 흰 점이 하나 생겨 흰 부분이 확대되고 나중에는 흰 소가 된다고 한다. 이것은 自己破壞的(자기파괴적)인 감정이 없어지고 건설적인 사랑의 감정이 성장하는 것이라고 볼 수 있고 肯定的(긍정적)인 힘의 성장이다.
~李東植: 「道와 카운슬링 카운셀러」, 韓國人의 主體性과 道, 一志社, 160-161, 1971.
At first your Cow is
black. White spots will begin to appear as you cultivate your Way. The spots
will grow larger until eventually you are left with a Cow that is totally white.
This is analogous to eliminating self-destructive impulses whilst growing constructive
love. And it is the development of positive energy.
~ Lee, Dong-shik, Dao and Autonomy of Koreans, "Dao and Counseling Counselor," 160-161, 1971. [Speech]
2010년 3월 23일 화요일
草露人生...이 노래를 들었더니 그런 생각이 떠올렸다
한국 음악계에서는 45RPM이란 힙합그룹이 있는데 내가 한국에 처음 왔을 땐 첫 번째 잡았던 앨범은 바로 그들의 1집 올드루키(Old Rookie)이었다. 얼마 전에 2집을 돌아왔는데 올드루키에 비해서는 가사, 음파, 제작 등등 모든 면에서 부족하고 팝(Pop)음악계에 너무나 진입하려고 노력했나 보니까 뭐랄까 그들의 1집에서 힙합의 정수를 진지하게 대표한 모습이 자본주의적인 목표로 도달하기 위해서 두 번째 생각을 할 필요가 없을 정도로 그 모습을 그냥 던져 버려서 내가 팬으로서 배신감을 느낄 수 밖에 없겠 다. 암든 오늘은 오랜만에 1집에서 나온 '생각의 소리'란 노래를 들었는데 물론 이전에 엄청 많이 들어봤지만 왠지 오늘 밤에 홍대 크럽에서 그 노래의 공연을 직접 관찰했던 듯이 매우 감동적이고 되게 선명하게 들었네....그 노래속에 담겨 있는 의미는 내 영혼과 융합하게 되었던 말이다. 아이구 난 왜 이렇게 감성적이냐 싶다. ㅋㅋ 너무 피곤한 것 같다. 더이상 도라이같은 소리가 나오지 않도록 그냥 노래 중에 차례로 3 번째 제이권도(J-Kwondo)의 감동시키는 가사를 여러분들과 나누어 드리고자 한다. 잘 읽으시길 바란다.
눈앞에서 보이는 쉴새없는 변화
그리고 떨어진 밤하늘의 별과
모든것이 내 머릿속을 통과
그래도 언제나 같은자리 (처음부터 지금까지)
모든것이 변한다 해도 변하지 않은 힙합과 나의 진리
눈을 감으면 내 안의 우주가
눈을 뜨면 우주안에 내가
내 생각 속도에 맞춰 세상은 변화가
재진 세상의 중심의 축
흔들리지 않고 계속 움직여 쭉
기나긴 고통의 발자국 내 랩음악 속에 고스란히
스며드네
흘러가네
지금 이 시간과 이 공간 속에 이것은 힙합이요
바로 음악이니 이것은 각운이요 흐름의 이치니라
2010년 3월 17일 수요일
다이아몬드 눈송이 내려오는 밤
다이아몬드 같은 눈송이 내려오는 밤에 거리에서는 등이 비뚤어진 아줌마의 빙그레 웃는 미소가 내 눈을 기울였는데 春雪이 내리는 밤 이외에 더 아름다운 시간이 있겠습니까?
가로등에서 나온 태양 같은 빛이 눈송이를 둘러싼 모습이 더 우아하고 두드러지게 보이는데 나말고 하늘에서 제공해 주신 공연을 감상하는 사람도 있겠습니까?
서관의 9:15에 표시하는 탑시계바늘 위에 가라앉은 눈송이 하늘에 다시 날아가 사라진 듯이 마음의 온천에서 흐려온 감동은 발생하지 않았던 것과 다름이 있겠습니까?
이젠 쇼 끝났는데 왜 길에서 쓰레기를 수집하여 인력거를 끌려오는 아줌마가 다이아몬드처럼 활짝 빛나는 자식의 눈도 더 이상 못 보실 수 있겠습니까?
2010년 3월 14일 일요일
High School Status B-Buster Shizzer
What the fuck man, it's 945 pm on a goddamn Sunday. My highs wearin off from the little bit of weed I smoked today and I'm still at Blockbuster. I'm fuckin sittin my ass down and readin a magazine. This standin bullshits too tirin. Goddamn Angelina Jolie is fuckin tits man. I think I'll read that mag. This is the most luxury I've been privy to all week. Sittin on a cold metal chair with a movie trailer playin overhead four weeks old that I memorized better than the Dicken's two weeks ago and got annoyed with three point five weeks ago, and readin whatever magazine this is with Angelina's fine ass.
Beep Beep
What the F. Who the hell rents videos this goddamn late? Oh how are you doing tonight Sir? Do you need any assistance? Oh I will gladly find that for you. Just hold on for a second and I'll go get it. To get you the fuck out of here. I'll meet you up at the register Sir. Goddamn this guy's a grease ball. He's got some sweatpants with cigarette burns and a dirty ass white undershirt on with yellow pit-stains growin by the minute. Do you have your Blockbuster card with you tonight Sir? No, of course you don't you greasy mother fucker, you probably ate it along with the wallet you never had. What's your last name Sir? Dick, hmm no fuckin comment on that shit. Beep. Beep. Ok Sir, your total is.... What?! you have a coupon? You fucking stingy prick, you can't even afford a measly video rental. Ok Sir, let me just scan that for you quickly. Beep. Beep. Goddamn why isn't this shit workin? Beep. BeepBeepBeepBeep. I'm sorry Sir, this coupon appears to be expired. Oh, you just received it last week? You goddamn liar. That is honestly the one thing I can't fuckin stand, a liar, but I'm too tired for this shit. I apologize for the confusion and I will give you a store credit for this. Beep. Again, I apologize for the inconvenience, here are your movies and have a GREAT NIGHT. Dick head.
Did you just give him a store credit Matthew? Haven't I told you a million times you can't just be giving store credits to whomever you feel like? Are you even listening to me? Hey, where do you think you're going mister? I'm not done speaking to you (yet)....
Yo I'm sorry I'm going on my fifteen. Haha too late bitch, I'm already out the door. Shit I'm stressed man. I gotta get something to chill me out. Hmm, ah! Holy shit, holy shit. I think my boy left his bowl and bud in my whip. Haha ya mother fucker. Lemme get this bowl packed. Goddamn this is some sticky shit. Aight, here we go... Flick, flick.
Welcome to Blockbuster, how can I help you?
2010년 3월 12일 금요일
Typical Study Abroaders (in Corea)
At all universities here in Korea, or in all countries for that matter, at any given time you may run into the savage beasts otherwise known as study abroaders (homo partius). Just as polluted waters were the unfortunate result of industrialization, study abroaders are the sickening drivel seeping out of the joints of globalization's gastric crevice. They come, they party, they tourist and they go home carrying a sense of accomplishment and a mouth full of, "I really got to know such a different culture; it changed my life," and a hand full of the same bloody bollocks when it comes time to fill out a CV or resume.
Exchanges are not the response of colleges pure unadulterated philanthropic spirit to provide young men and women with the life changing opportunity of studying in a foreign land, although you'd be hard pressed to find another reason upon entering your local uni's study abroad office. On the contrary, they are merely a symptom, and a puss filled Everest one on an adolescent Mikhail Steinberg's petroleum status nose, a code red, danger Will Robinson and Gary Coleman example of the commodification of what education has become today.
If you want a life changing experience go the fuck to Patagonia and kick it for real. Don't come to Korea, or Belarus, or China to drink and party with some other foreigners. I'm sorry that's not what I'm trying to say. Rather, come, spend your money, have a blast, but don't, I repeat don't go home and say it changed your life. Yes, now that's what I'm trying to convey. Understand your reason for being in another country regardless of the fact that you may attend a university class or two, is solely for entertainment reasons only. You paid your travel agent to set up your itinerary, oops I meant schools study abroad office, so have your fun until your slated return date.
Being a student abroad here in the ROK, and feeling a sense of pity for poor sad sappy heads having trouble having their fun here, I hereby declare this blog to be a place for people to refer to if and whenever they have questions pertaining to how one can make their stay here more entertaining or simply put, how to reduce the hassle of studying in such a foreign place to the point that you'll forget you're even in a foreign land until you go home and tell your friends how much it changed your life. So buckle up, have a safe flight and I'll see you at the aero-port with your newly updated itinerary.
2010년 1월 3일 일요일
an age ago
~Foreign
~Luxury
-whoosh-
damn, domestic, Ford.
Next to the white paint chippin' fence towers a 19th century barn stable. In front we're sittin' on a grassy with few weeds, shaded incline. Our bikes leaning against the fence, we recline on our arms, occasionally throwing longing glances into one another's sadness tinged eyes after long moments of staring at the dirt beneath us, picturesque farmland sprawling out ahead of our periphery, or round the bend as the rumble or purr of a vehicle approaches.
She's the most beautiful girl I've ever met. Her freckled porcelain hands clasp the de-leafed stem of a fern; precious fingers slowly whittle the stem down as the velvet gloved wind of August rustles both our sweat tinged locks.
Autumn is rapidly approaching and our time together is being swept away just as quickly. We both know it.
This is our last day together.
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