Yesterday 2014

Yesterday was Saturday, January 18th 2014.

By all accounts a seemingly ordinary day - an ordinary day, mind you, that was free of the acrid effluvium that has tended to drift yonder from the "factories of death" that mainland China kindly incubates at the behest of the Devil him/herself (itself?); which is to say it was a good day.  I woke up twice.  The first time at about 6:20.  Two things happened : First, I blindly stumbled over to my kitchen island to find my 'scrip of pills to combat my aching belly (the result of minor food poisoning from a Wednesday luncheon with the CEO smh) and Secondly, just as I was about to lay back down the vibration from my year 2019 LG smart phone drew my attention to one of those weekend ruining text messages - the "you have to come into work on your Sunday for no apparent reason other than the fact that your boss has to come into work" kind of message.  Shaking my head again I collapsed under my covers.

In an anxiety induced early-morning dreamscape, I literally demo'd the future most tits version of all video games.  It went like this: I awoke in a realm that was identical to my childhood neighborhood save for the fact that instead of being an oval it was in the form of a square, perhaps because the scale was about the size of a single floor in an average, generic corporate office building.  This magnified scale essentially meant that each house was a little bigger than a normal bedroom and instead of a grassy front yard there was for some reason (cover perhaps?) the equivalent of a counter-top.  Also, some apparently seedy elements appeared to have taken over the upper half of the neighborhood while leaving my lower side intact (there was a visceral feeling of sunshine and happiness on the lower side while the upper side was wrapped in fear and a dark, foreboding cloud).

Of course I decided to take a stroll around my neighborhood and upon entering the limits of the upper side I saw I was about to be summarily jumped so I proceeded to sprint all the way back to my house while being pelted with threats like "we're gonna kill ya" and "our connections run deep" and so on ad nauseam.  I actually felt scared when I arrived at my home because I knew someone was following me, but all of a sudden I had this revelation that I alone would have to take on the upper crust scum and fight for my life - so with a kitchen knife in my left hand and a pointed pair of scissors in the right, I squeezed both hands tight.  When some goon entered I started off with some verbal sparring leaving him dazed, but still cognizant enough to let me know that if I were to put up any more of a fight I would face swift and severe retribution.

After said Nobel Prize winning speech concluded I proceeded to stab him in the face with the kitchen knife, and then the chest with the scissors partly opened.  This later action sent him to the floor whereupon I dislodged the scissors with a *THWACK* only to slam them in his throat and after a little *SNIP SNIP* his trachea was in two.  Knowing then that I would have to preempt any other visitor that made their way to me, I ducked under my front yard, err desk, and somehow without even thinking positioned the dream-cam(?) across from me where I could see what was coming my way from either side of my position.  I saw one woman menacingly advancing towards my position from the left carrying a knife in one hand.  Two things were certain: First, her name was Natasha and Two, I would jump up at the right time and simultaneously restrain the arm in which she held her knife and stab her in the face. It was then that I awoke for the second time.

Needless to say I took the rest of the remaining time in the world by the balls.  I watched Heat (1995) for the first time, ran two and a half kilometers in the park across from my house - located on the side of a mother fucking mountain - and before I met my girl to go grab some Cuttlefish Mari (rice, soaked in octopus ink, spread across a square leaf of seaweed laver with 1~2 long, chewy slices of cuttlefish placed in the middle before all being wrapped up into a long roll) I casually read a bit of 孫子's 兵法.

That was my yesterday, how was yours?

Phillyish child-ish: Prequel 1.0

So let me take you back before the accident.  But not before the drugs and excess.  Or is it excess of drugs?  Anyways, I was introduced to Thomas auspiciously one early autumn afternoon in the city.  I had just disembarked from the R5 at University Station and was about to make my usual leisurely trek to Penn's main library to meet my dealer Jamal, when a familiar voice beckoned from behind.

"Frederick, brother? Is that you man?"
This guy.  Turned out to be Patrick Rothman.  I'm pretty sure everyone knows this type of kid : adopted, Jewish family, went through a "Black" phase, graduated from said "Black" phase into some kind of hybrid frat/lacrossey phase, only friends that he has steal from him when they get invited to his house, drug addict social misfit.  Long story short, turned out good ol' Patty had come across some pretty strong K (a.k.a. Ketamine a.k.a. Horse Tranquilizer) earlier in the day and was just then falling into the velvet hazy K-cave of no return.  Luckily, or unluckily for him, he was being supported by some helpful passerby.

"You know this guy? Then give me a hand and help me set him over there on that rank bench."
With a good 'thwack' Patty's head cracked atop the wooden bench.  Our mutual burden absolved, I turned to head towards Franklin Field when I noticed my new friend was heading in the same direction.  Having no agoraphobic tendencies I decided to broach the sphere of casual conversation.

Turns out he was going to meet the same Jamal to buy the same weed.  Then, in classic Thomas-fashion, this sly-ass grin began unfolding across his face and he proceeded to reach into his impeccably tailored Italian slacks grabbing a fat wad of cash along with a veritable Halloween bag full of every pharmaco pill imaginable that he had snatched out of Patty's pocket moments earlier.   We both took a knee - right there in the middle of the platform - and raised our pointed index fingers to the sky.

Patrick, it turned out, had been drugged by angels sent down from upon high so that Thomas and myself would not only meet, but have our souls welded together in what turned out to be an epic, narcotic fueled autumn afternoon of absolute debauchery replete with hookers, at least one potential case of grand theft auto, numerous misdemeanors, one dead hooker and the odd poetry reading (Blackthought if you must know). Needless to say it was from that day on, Thomas and I embarked upon our inseparable friendship.  We were both 11 years old.  And Thomas is a doll.

Previous Story :
http://kayageetheworld.blogspot.kr/2011/02/phillyish-child-ish.html?m=1

Air & Pussy

I would like to speak with you for a moment, if you would kindly allow me, about this subject we both hold so dear to our lives; this air we breath.

It is getting richer. Not richer in the sense of those individuals or nations who, in pursuing ever increasing margins by either flouting more costly "advanced" methods or utilizng the cheapest (read : dirtiest) materials, are stacking massive reserves of foreign currency; but rather richer in the sense that stacks of cancer causing caustic particles are proliferating and spreading throughout the atmosphere.  While the cross-border movement of capital is viewed as a positive, the later is decidedly less so.

Winter in Seoul has always been harsh.  But, this harshness has always been tempered by the beauty of the high, open blue skies and spirit-warming communal engagement found within various market-places.  No longer.  Now we are on the receiving end of flagellation from not only Mother Nature but from our own hand; well only 30% of "our own" as in "Korea's fault" in terms of the carbon-dioxide emitted from the vastly overpopulated pool of automobiles that seem rather to prefer remaining stationary in the middle of freeways, perhaps due to their own misinterpretation of the meaning of the name of the road they roam that they apparently take to mean "free to stay in the way."  Of course, the remaining 70% of the pollution that enjoys lingering in the winter skies of Korea being the bastard offspring of China, conceived somewhere along the course of that nations re-ascent to dominance and thrown away out of sight without even a second thought.

Lovely.  Now we are the ones who are left gulping down the putrid, coal-blackened effluvium.  And yet, it seems that no one is throwing up their hands at China demanding something be done to rectify this situation.  Why is this?  Of course there are numerous rational explanations that seek to provide some semblance of an answer - an answer, mind you, that provides no hint of a possible solution - but this is the rambling of an obscure blogger, so I will opt instead for an explanation of a controversial and comical nature.  While politicians are often caricatured as being a bunch of Dicks - some more so (and less so) owing to their own, un-coerced disclosures - the current leader of Korea is a Pussy. Literally.

While Dicks may rear their heads in places they are not welcome, it cannot be said that they lack fortitude (unless they do, in which case they lose the title of Dick and fall into the category of Penis (of the flaccid variety)).  Pussies on the other hand, well, they are known to just 'take it.'  They take it standing up, sitting down, in the shower, and, whether they are conscious of it or not, when they are sleeping.  Not to seem unfair or god forbid sexist, I want to make it clear that everyone in Korea at this moment is a Pussy.  We are, in a sense, engaging in perpetual gokkun (look it up) with the pollution that China has ejaculated all over us; is still showering on us.  Also, the 'pussy metaphor' need not necessarily conjure up merely negative associations; in our lives there are times we too must take it.  For example, when we seek to console another in their grief or suffering, by virtue of the process that is sympathizing and empathizing, we very literally not only take the other's upset condition, but we take it upon ourselves.  You see, 'taking it' is both a passive and active act, it can imply heroic virtuosity and effeminate feebleness; it is essentially both masculine and feminine. Interesting, huh?

For our case however, we are Pussies of the effeminate, feeble, passive kind.  You know we are because everyday we are told how to deal with the micro-dust.  We need to wear a mask.  Right, just like pussies apply pads to themselves to deal with the monthly flows of menstruation.  However, this proscription not only clearly illustrates the sarcastic point being made, it unfogivably misses the seriousness of the problem at hand.  Save for newly constructed buildings that intalled energy-saving double paned, gas filled windows and top-end air filtration systems, which is to say no building in Korea, no one is immune to the infiltration of the micro-dust.  Since the micro-dust is ever present in our houses, we are constantly sucking it down.  On top of that, the dust lingers, if not in the air then on the surface of everything for days after serious bouts of micro-dust phenomena.  Wind and other activities will continue to stir up the micro-dust until the natural air purifier that is rain occurs.

So, this is the state of things.  Again to reiterate, I too am a Pussy.  I lack not only fortitude but the authority to affect any kind of change to the circumstances we all find ourselves within. That being said, bearing in mind the fact that Pussies can take on Dick characteristics, we must not forget that if we all come together and 'take on' one another's burden, which is to say our own burden, we will become engorged in the masculine virtuosity capable of toppling empires.  To rephrase John Dickinson's (pun intended) famous quote from 'The Liberty Song' I shall end this post thusly: United we can be Dicks! Divided we are only Pussies!

無知의 知

Unknowing Prescience

韓國 카운슬러協會의 會報에 실릴 글을 청탁받고 필자는 감개무량한 느낌을 금할 수 없었다. 우리 나라에 카운슬러 운동이 들어오게 된 것은 주로 우리들 자신의 주동이라기보다도 外來思潮와 외국 원조의 產物이라고 볼 수 있다.

Having received a request to publish my writing within a report for the Korean Counselors Association (KCA), it was impossible for this writer to contain the elation of the moment. Far from being the result of our own undertaking, the movement that introduced counseling into our nation can be seen as the product of imported ideological trends alongside foreign aide.

운동이 시작된 지 10년 내외에 韓國 카운슬러 協會가 結成된 지도 두 돌을 맞이하게 되고 대학에 學生指導硏究所, 學生生活指導部 등과 中等學校에 教導教師란 職制가 생기게 되어 이 운동은 확고한 外形을 갖추게 되었다. 이러한 발전으로 이끌어오게 되기까지는 많은 先驅者들의 陰으로 陽으로의 노력이 일었다고 하겠다.

Ten years on since the movement began, we just passed the two year mark since the Korean Counselors Association was founded. It has finally come into it's own and has been responsible for the creation of organizations such as the University Counseling Research Center, Student Life Mentoring Department as well as Secondary Education Reform Teachers. Development up until this point has only been possible thanks to the substantial public and private efforts made by numerous pioneers in the field.

그러나 아직까지는 韓國의 카운슬링 운동은 우리 社會에 깊은 뿌리를 박았다고는 볼 수 없다. 카운슬링이란 1~2개월의 講習으로 할 수 있게 되는 성질의 것이 아니라 강습을 받음으로써 정말 학생을 돕겠다는 誠意와 資質이 있는 분이 용기를 가지고 상담을 할 수 있는 하나의 始發點이 될 수 있울 뿐이다.

Overall, however, the Korean Counseling Movement is not fully embedded within Korean society. Counseling itself is not something that simply happens after 1 or 2 months of training. On the contrary, such training is just the starting point for those sincere, talented individuals who endeavor to aid and assist students and have the courage to be able to provide counsel as such.

이러한 始發點에서 相談이란 어렵고 무거운 책임을 지는 길에 들어서게 되면 갖가지 고난이 기다리고 있는 것이다. 그러기에 어떤 教導教師는 할수록 어렵고 뭐가 뭔지 모르겠다는 말을 한다.

From such a starting point, a myriad of difficulties and struggles await those who accept the responsibility and embark upon the long, arduous road of counseling. Consequently, there will be certain Student Counselors who, as things become more and more difficult, throw up their hands in exasperation exclaiming they have not the slightest clue what it is that they should do.

이러한 境界에 부딪치게 된다면 그분은 진실로 카운슬링에 들어가는 문앞에 당도하고 있다고 볼 수 있다. 이러한 경험이 없이는 상담이란 있을 수 없는 것이고 여기서 길이 갈라진다. 여기서 정말 相談의 本道에 들어가는 분도 있을 것이고 또 많은 분들은 안이한 자기 만족에 陶醉하게 되거나 보다 더 良心的인 분은 相談을 포기하게도 된다. 흔히 자신 만만한 선생님을 보게 되지만 카운슬링이나 精神治療에 있어서는 자신만만이란 있을 수 없는 어려운 일이다.

It is only at this stage that those individuals can be seen as truly having arrived at the gates of Counseling. This is where the fork in the road appears, as counseling lacking such an experience is something that simply cannot be called counseling. At that point, there will be individuals who embark on the main path of real counseling, but there will be many more complacent individuals who end up falling in love with own felling of self-satisfaction, of which, those possessing any conscience at all will wind up giving up counseling all together. I often come the latter types who are full of themselves, but such 'self-confidence' - to put it nicely - is a huge problem that simply has no place within counseling or psychotherapy.

自信이 없으면서 어떻게 남의 人生의 중대한 문제를 다루는 無責任한 행동을 하느냐고 反問할지 모른다. 학생이 혼자 문제를 안고 헤매고 있느니보다는 조금이라도 도움이 될 수 있기에 相談을 하는 것이다.

There may be some who question the irresponsible action - in their view - of how someone who lacks confidence can help someone else who is experience the most vexing and troubling of life's problems. As opposed to letting a student struggle with their problems on their own, counseling is carried out because it could help provide the student with relief, even if that relief seems small and trivial.

조금도 도움이 될 수 없다면 상담은 할 수 없는 것이다. 學生의 고민을 父母에게 전달할 수 있다면 이것도 큰 도움이다. 부모를 설득해서 專門家에게 진찰이나 治療를 받게 해주는 것도 큰 도움이다. 카운슬러가 줄 수 있는 최대한의 도움을 줄 수 있다면 그 相談은 성공한 것이다. 精神治療를 專門으로 하는 醫師가 수년간 治療를 해서 고칠 수 있을까 말까 하는 학생을 고치겠다고 自信을 가지는 것은 대단히 위험한 일이요 불행한 일이다.

You wouldn’t counsel anyone if there wasn’t some small benefit to it. By just conveying a student's mental anguish to their parents can be a great help. Or even simply persuading their parents to seek treatment from a professional can provide immense help. Counseling is said to be successful when a Counselor is able to provide as much help as he or she is capable of providing. It is a very dangerous thing – not to mention extremely regrettable - to see a doctor who is professionally trained in psychotherapy to confidently (arrogantly?) think that they can actually "fix" a student for which even many years of therapy may not begin to help.

화려한 결과를 바라는 분은 相談엔 적합하지 않다. 상담이란 말하자면 눈에 띄지 않은 陰德을 쌓는 것으로 만족해야 한다.

For individuals hoping for splendid results or happy endings, counseling is not for them.  When it comes to counseling, individuals must be content with the ‘hidden virtue' (陰德) of benevolent actions that remain unseen.

최근에 나는 깊은 감명을 받은 일이 있다. 지난 여름부터 서울에서 시작된 月例事例協議會에서 어떤 나이 많은 선생님의 相談事例의 報告를 들은 적이 있다. 이 선생님은 어떻게 보면 저런 선생님이 어떻게 相談을 할 수 있을까 싶도록 얼른 보기엔 융통성이 없어 보이며 학생을 이해할 수 있을지 의심스러울 만큼 고지식하게 보이는 인상을 주는 선생님이었다.

Recently, something happened that impressed me deeply. Last summer whilst attending the 'Monthly Case Study Conference' held in Seoul, I listened to a report given by an elderly professor. This professor, upon a quick glance, looked so rigid as to put into question his ability to provide counsel to anyone. He gave off the impression of being so "old school" as to raise suspicion about whether he could even understand his students.

늘 하는 말이지만 자꾸 할수록 어려워지고 모르겠다는 말을 되풀이하고 있었다. 그러나 그 선생님이 相談한 내용을 보면 어느 누구의 相談報告보다 월등하게 잘 되어 있는 것을 우리는 느낄 수 있었다.

Just like I always say, this professor kept reiterating how, when things became progressively difficult (pertaining to counseling), that he was unsure of what to do next. For those of us in attendance, however, if anyone took to look at the actual details of the professor’s counseling, they would very quickly see that it was better than anyone else’s.

이 報告를 듣고 나의 느낌은 韓國에도 이제는 카운슬링이 뿌리를 박을 수 있구나 하는 든든한 느낌을 가질 수 있었다. 나는 이러한 無知의 知를 體得하신 카운슬러가 우리 나라에 많이 나타나기를 갈망하는 마음 간절하다.

Contrary to what I had thought up until that point, after listening to that report I was left with the strong feeling that counseling had finally embedded itself within Korea after all. I can only ardently hope that many more counselors will appear in Korea who, like the professor, will embody and learn the Prescience of Unknowing.

~ 한국 카운슬러 협의 회보 - 1, 2 號, 1965 10月

Wind & Words

You and I, we are trees.

Whilst wind upon leaves
rustles our senses, we understand not.

Language be mere wind upon words towards Thought.

Namelessness

We were always here, until we were not.
Now, we are not here; just then.
The heaven heavens magenta magentas;
no longer, now just passing away .

Essential Albums

It's been awhile. Too long since i felt this sick. Sick of the daily grind. That is to say; that which I felt lacking from this existence of ours: boss suede.

A few bands evoke such grown-up dapperness: The Black Keys (selections), Jay-Z (most, but not every song), Quasimoto, 빈지노 and a few others... but I digress. The Arctic Monkey's new album AM is sickly legit listening for what those living in this stop-gap between Summer and Autumn (or Winter to Spring for the mates down South of the equator) need and should want. That boulavard fresh swagger inducing beat shaken - not stirred - with speed-ball tempo and manic-depressive melodies; no more words can suffice to describe this simply devine concoction of pure distilled emotion of the enlightened human-spirit.

Seemingly sampling from the Gods of rock (QOTSA) to perennial R&B makers of mass taste like Usher and new-gen cultural fusionists like Drake (among others - forgive the short-term memory ganj influenced state of this writer) The Arctic Monkeys have managed to perfectly enframe not only the essence, but the best of what at least the American-spirit (and unfortunately without an oppurtunity to experience the Euro music world as it is by others closer in geographical proximity I personally would venture to include that part of the world's spirit) has to offer at this particular juncture in time. And that is to say; this album be of the kind that deserves a place above the hearth's mantle of any household to be put on display for suceeding generations as that which is worthy of admiration and also as what should serve as a bearing towards - or rather upon the path of - further emotional and human refinement.

One for the Road; Why'd you Only Call me When You're High; I Wanna be Yours are this particular writer's favorite tracks off of the current album. More should be said - more must be said - about each different song's unique emotion invoking tenor and character, but alas time is limited for such musings at this moment. However, sometimes brevity is what is required when something so necessary prefaces speaking of that which must be essentially experienced. So go forth and feel my good Sirs and Madams!

Together From Afar

Walking, alone
I see you.

Glancing, maybe
you see me.

But do you?
Can I?

Alone, walking
thinking of you.

Maybe, glancing
from afar; you too...

The Heaviest Flakes

Footsteps in snow; fresh.
Time passes, just one flash.
Snow still, plus tracks...
Wide, narrow, straight, curved; paths.
To where? To when? Don't laugh.

Footsteps in snow; near death.
Never once swept
up in the now, just - always what is - left: 
the closest closeness, but passed oft.
No why? No why! Flakey; too soft. 

인생의 참맛

Enveloped in gray,

I lay,

Where the no-man prays.

Then they say,

If I may,

인생의맛을 느껴볼래?

Glittering Gold Glints of Fall

Walking down this imperial boulevard, ears wrapped dapperly in supple leather melodics, the crisp early winter winds flutter the last yellow glint of fall overhead.  Squinting, I cock my head to one side while looking up in awe at man's engineering might, erect in it's full glory, hard off the beauty of the heavens outstretched above.  Exuding confidence in quantities normally reserved for those many years my senior, I'm groovin' in the path of the flickering rays of light laid down ahead of me.  But then, as I observe the passing glances of souls heading away forever, I become filled with an indescribable melancholy.  Why can't we all simply chill out just a little; slow down this speed at which we live.  From infinity, we have been brought together, but only for the most fleeting of instants, whence forth we embark upon trajectories exactly the same in their polar oppositeness creating the greatest distance away from fate; all but extinguishing it.  We appreciate not, it seems... The depthless profundity and potential of fate.  A fate that is constantly and forever enveloping and piercing our individual and collective orbits.  We live not, it seems... We are simply racing ahead, mechanically in a single direction every waking moment of our existence; an existence that loses more and more meaning the more we seek to quicken the pace of our pursuit of progress.    Fate for progress; progress over fate.  Sureness as security; no fears and no cares.... anymore.   But where the danger lies, so too does the saving force.  So, what then, is dangerous anymore?  Shall we feign an attempt at pointing it out? Yes! 

Poem Formed in Dream (Poesy as Dream)

Snow, falling, lightly hits the ground;

a shadow, suddenly comes 'round.

Slowly, he grabs her little hand,

and leads her, here, ne'er to be found...

We

We had horses; wild and unbridled till they weren't. And that's how it was for generations.  

We have autos; expensive and unattainable till they aren't. That's how it goes for less than a year.  

Mark my words we have become slaves, accepting a pittance of what our forefathers would have. Is it not a matter of time until the masses trend towards meals in a capsule? If 'they' say it's good then no doubt.  

We acquiesce to authority and live less and less every second when we should be fully experiencing life in it's now manifest manifold essence. What goes on for perpetuity? Ideas? Maybe. Institutions? Name one.  Life? Until we forget it entirely. 

Misty Bridge Crossing Bus Ride

Into the mists you fly, 

As I pass on, going by. 

Although some may cry, 

I, I always do truly see . 

We in time, are free... 

Together, forever, to Be.

China Versus The USA

So what do you know about China? 

Nah I'm just joking, fucking idiot. 

Let me put it this way; what's your gut reaction when you have the image of a person who is trying to escape from 'political oppression'?  

I know already so don't bother opening your fucking mouth. 

"Fucking red commie socialist prick Tianammen chink Chinese!"  

'Bout right, yes? Yup. Fucking idiots. 

You think the leadership in that 'red commie country' doesn't know how you and your 'educated' brethren think? You think it be a mere coincidence that on the very night Secretary of State Ms. Clinton was on her way there - and actually in a better position than at any other time in recent memory to place China in a position where she should make real economic and human rights decisions - that an individual known (since he has been under surveillance for over 20 years) to want to flee to the US, due to a 'lapse' in security just happened to escape and make international headlines? Just a coincidence that it was only he who made it into the embassy and not his family? That him and his wife were just the right amount of stupid? Ad naseaum... 

I don't think so, and as a result American diplomats were forced to take the defensive, not because that's what the situation warranted, but because that's what the stereotyped image of Chen dictated they must do. And as a result this situation allowed China to take a chastising position, as should equally be expected. That said, as her actions have been relatively subdued - demonstrated by allowing him to get a study abroad visa and leave for the States if he really wants to - compared with what they could have or have done to dissidents in the past, China now appears not only as relatively dominant vis a vis the Unprescient States of America, but have shown yet again that they can not only change any situation into an advantageous one, but when the dust settles and their actions are neutrally evaluated (as is being done now), their actions will show China has changed, albeit slightly, and in fact America should be shown to be the one stagnant and inflexible in it's own stereotype...

Human Experiences As Experiential Humans

People just don't know. People are either afraid of or have no fear of what they don't know. Case in point: weed. Many are vehemently opposed to it whilst the rest are either users puffing away with no fear or are one of those who don't or no longer smoke, but are still nonetheless taking the idea of weed lightly; read without fear (of it's weight: importance).  

So what does 'knowing' look like? To tread upon a closely related, but slightly more enlightened path let's take the well known subject of wine up. Wine is not just a substance; it is far more. How much more? To avoid a long diatribe, I simply ask of you to think upon what man has come to know of wine. A lot. Next I pose this simple question, "Of what we 'know' in regards to what wine is, is wine limited to that knowledge, is it merely something that can have certain attributes listed, varietals evaluated, etc...?". Surely not, it is something to be experienced, fully. Experience means eundo assequi, to obtain something along the way, to attain something by going on a way. 

So what is reached by the individual who undergoes an experience with wine? Not mere knowledge. Granted. Obtained is a relation of oneself to wine's manifold essence. A relation should not be confused with a mere standing in front of a thing, although that is the essence of what an idea is, but a relation in the sense that what is experienced cannot occur or come to light the same if one aspect were different. Thus we can say that each experience is fundamentally different, in an essentially inseparable subjective and objective sense.  

From such an experience we have in our mind, and moreover we have impressed upon our senses (not in the sense of possessing a mere object) an idea of what wine then is. Idea, eidos in the Greek, in the sense that what remains can only remain from the originary experience; it is that experience always and forever more. 

But, it may rightfully be objected, others can say that they too, even without physically experiencing something, say ganja, and can still have an idea about something. Surely. Can one argue against them? If all they mean to say is that they have the ability to sense, in the sense that they are able to turn towards a certain call or scent, and as such a turning towards something is inherently a standing with or against something or what we alluded to earlier as a 'standing-in-relation-with', then yes they too can have that 'idea' as well. That not withstanding, however, their 'idea' to put it lightly, has no weight. Thus their claim to their idea, whilst a valid one in regards to what an idea is, lacks importance and weight when con-sidered widely.  

Nowadays, however, people are fucking retarded; they wrongly assert the claim 'everyone is entitled to have their own idea' to mean 'everyone is correct in their ability to have and maintain an idea' no matter how light an idea's inherent importance may be. No one can deny funadamently the ability of an idea to impact others given what we have said in regards to what the essence of an idea is, but the fact that people feel like their idea is important when we said earlier most people don't truly know the weight of something because they have not, they do not know what it means to have a 'true experience' is clear evidence of how soft people are today. 

Experiencing, as it should be apparent by now, necessarily goes beyond what we conceive of as being physical towards a deeper, yet fully related, thinking experience where the true importance of something becomes apparent, appears be-fore: only with you (thus with all???). Such an undertaking, as it should be, is not easy; it's hard as a rock is heavy(重). One cannot take this lightly, and if you cannot take something lightly you should be con-cerned perhaps even fearful of what is to be con-fronted as it is what is most important.

Thus fear, as being that which hinders one from seeing what truly lies before oneself on the path towards something is what needs to be overcome, what one needs(必要) to truly experience as being that which has been overcome to help give weighty-necessity (重要) or importance to an experience; leading to transcendence. Inherently, where fear is, security can not exist, as fear should force one into caring about it upon being truly con-fronted. 

Secure, sine-cure, meaning literally: without care. The only way to overcome fear is to step into it, or better yet by taking a (originary) leap into it (Ur-sprung). A gap separates you from what lies before, thus a leap, perhaps to say it clearer, a leap of faith is necessary? Not a blind leap into the unknown, but into what always has been. Experiences, whence truly experienced, take us back to the origin by lighting the path be-fore of what is, always has been and what will continue to be: the weightiest(最重要) of all. 

So why do so many people not care??? Is there nothing to fear any longer? Do people know, truly and essentially, how to care? Or do people merely have a faint idea left over, a vestigial memory if you will, from sometime or someone who really cared that allows them to have a claim, regardless of how tenuous or hollow it may be, to 'know' about caring and thus blindly believe that they do care? Do people want to care??? 

"The only thing one has to fear is fear itself...". Fear itself never exists in and of itself, it is as it is only as it is con-fronted. Con-fronted by whom? Man. Why is the rule of law held in such esteem? Or western gods? but for the mere fact that they are not man. Man is only safe when he is not man, or to put it clear, as he is not in a relation with himself as man. To rephrase the above quote then we might say, "The only thing man fears is man; his true self (das Selbst, 真正的自己)." Thus man usually finds himself as a mere 'role' or part being played by a 'disinterested' con-ception of an original self for a cyclical purpose; a purpose, mind you, worked out well in advance of the common understanding as to why said purpose or 'goal' is or must be under constant pursuit.  

The ego or I of who we are is only projected outwards as a sliver of who we really are as a mere mask (persona)... Our persona, as is well accepted, is the mask we put on for society, but moreover for ourselves, paradoxically to protect ourselves from our very self. But who are we when we are our True Self???

Does this not call for self-discovery through self-examination or as it is refered to in the East as meditation or 省察 or 自己反省 or 參神...  

To interject into this polemical dialogue, if I can be granted the reprieve in calling this in such a way, what does all of this have to do with weed? Everything and nothing. Please do not take the last sentence as some vacuous truism said just for saying's sake. Words should be said with the greatest care to permit the calling from such saying to carry it's full weight... Such sayings are hard, and are apt to be mis-understood, but this should not discourage the attempt...  

Anyways, weed among other drugs and fear-shrouded objects, has been shown to not 'enlighten' the mind by playing the role of a shortcut and 'turning on' various areas of the brain, but actually serves to shut down a very particular part of the brain responsible for 'projecting' our masked self; our ego. But, we know that despite this literal freeing ourselves from our mask of ourselves, weed can stone us and make us unaware of anything. As a result, weed is used as an escape from the mask; a running away from: read a non con-fronting. 

Thus no experience is to be had. However, what would happen if a teacher appeared in order help and guide others on a true experience with weed. Not to merely 'use' it as a cause to elicit a reaction, although no one can doubt that this sort of relationship can be derived out of such an experience, but to really come to understand what has for thousands of years remained in the shadows due to constant mis-understanding. Even if weed has been used in the past, however distant or near, there has never been a push to experience it as it really is. Such a far reaching Experience would hold within it all that has been and more: the weight of itself upon us. 

To bear the full weight of something, together with it, upon our self; that is a path that once set upon will not serve as an isolated lane dead-ended in itself, but contrarily, as any path that really is a path, will bear a relation to something. Where the relation is, or if such a relation should be found to be the Relation of relations, is far from being decided, but that should not discourage the attempt from happening either. 

道와 學

道와 學
Dao and Study

몇 해 전에 韓國哲學會의 「韓國思想의 創造」란 모임에서 美國에서 哲學教授로 있는 분이 哲學은 自己反省의 極致라는 발표를 한 일이 있다.  필자는 그 석상에서 哲學은 自己反省의 극치가 될 수 없고, 道가 바로 自己反省의 극치라고 했으나 충분한 공감을 얻을 수가 없었다. 東西哲學을 전공한 분들도 많았는데 적극적인 응원을 얻지 못했다.

A few years back at a gathering of the Korean Philosophical Society, a lecture was given with the title 'The Creation of Korean Thought'. An individual who had spent time in the United States working as a professor of philosophy made a presentation wherein he stated philosophy is the pinnacle of self-reflection(自己反省). From my seat I retorted it isn't philosophy, but Dao that is the pinnacle of self-reflection, however, others in attendance apparently didn't share my sentiments on the matter. Even from those with a background well versed in both Eastern and Western philosophy, no support was to be found.

東洋思想은 원래 道와 教를 구별한다. 道가 목표이고 教는 수단이다.  道는 淨心이요，正心이다.  教는 哲學이고, 學이고, 理論이다.  道는 現實이고 , 教는 概念化된 理論이고 , 現實을 가리키는 손가락이다. 栗谷의 「擊蒙要訣」에서도 첫째로 自身이 聖人이 되겠다는 뜻을 세우고 一步도 이 목표에서 후퇴해서는 안 된다고 (立志)했고, 둘째로 낡고 좋지 못한 습관을 뜯어 고치고 (革舊習), 세째로 讀書를 꼽고 있다.

The fact is that Eastern thought originally distinguished between 'Dao'(道) and 'Teaching'(教). Dao being the ultimate goal, whilst Teaching is seen simply as a means. Dao being a clean mind, an honest mind. Teaching is philosophy, learning and theory. Dao is reality whereas Teaching is conceptual theory; merely a finger pointing towards reality. In the chapter entitled "Jimengyaojue"(擊蒙要訣) by Li gu(栗谷) it is written, "An individual who has committed to becoming a sage(聖人) shall firstly not deviate one step from their chosen path (立志: to stand (firm) in meaning). Secondly, they shall grab hold of and fix one's anachronous and bad habits (革舊習). Lastly, they must read."

이렇게 우리의 傳統은 공부라 하면, 사람이 되는 것, 成熟된 사람, 人間이 본래 태어날 때 潛在的으로 가지고 있는 能力, 즉 性•佛性•天真을 實現하는 修練이고 人間이 天에 合하는 것이 목적이었다. 다른 活動은 이 目標를 達成하기 위한 방법 내지 수단에 지나지 않는다

If we say that our tradition is one of study, then our objectives are: to become human, to mature, and manifest all the latent capabilities we were born with. This last point must be taken as meaning or referring to the discipline that allows us to realize our true disposition (性), Buddah's disposition (佛性), our true mind (天真) as well as harmonizing with the heavens above (and everything below). All other actions are just means or methods used to attain such an objective.

中庸에 「天命之謂性 率性之謂道 修道之謂教 道也者 不可須臾離也 可離非道也」라고 말하고 있듯이 道는 본래의 性品으로 돌아가는 것이고 道를 닦는 것이 教다.

In "The Mean" the following well known phrase is written: 「What was commanded by the heavens is called one's disposition; taking command and leading oneself to one's original disposition is called Dao; the cultivation of Dao is called Teaching. That is Dao and to deviate from it is not allowed ; if it is, than it cannot be said to be Dao.」As it says, Dao is the return to one's original disposition and the cultivation of Dao is (by means of or through) Teaching.

이것은 西山大師의 禪教 統一論에서 지적했듯이 佛教의 목표는 佛心이 되는 것이고 大根機, 즉 儒教에서 말하는 生而知之者는 教인 佛經, 즉 佛語를 읽지 않고 바로 自己의 마음을 깨달아서 바로 佛心이 되지만 대부분의 사람들은 中根機，下根機, 즉 儒教에서 말하는 學而知之者 困而知之者에 속하기 때문에 佛語(佛經)를 통하지 않고서는 自己의 마음을 보게 되어 결국 佛心에 도달하는 것에는 다름이 없다. 이것이 禪是佛心 教是佛語라고 표현되고 있는 것이다.

This is observed within the great teacher Xishan's (西山大師) 'Treatise on Unifying Zen and Teaching' (禪教 統一論) where it is said that the objective of Buddhism is developing the mind of Buddha and 大根機. This denotes the Teaching (教) in Buddhist sutra or - in other words - the 'One who lives and thus knows' (生而知之者) that is spoken of in Confucianism. This is not to be confused with reading the word of Buddha, but on the contrary it signifies, through an awareness or becoming conscious of one's mind, the becoming or development of the Buddha's mind. However, whilst the majority of people are designated as 中根機 or 下根機 - or what Confucianism refers to as 'Those who learn and thus know' or 'Those who experience difficulty and thus know' (學而知之者 困而知之者), regardless of whether or not they utilize Buddhist classics, if they are able to at least come to see their own minds then it is no different than achieving Buddha's true mind in the end. This is expressed as 禪是佛心 教是佛語 meaning that Zen is the Buddha's mind; Teaching is the Buddha's word.

1973년에 피히트(Picht)는 韓國哲學會 초청으로 서울에서 한 「理論과 省察」(Theorie und Meditation)이란 講演에서 西洋文化는 自然과 人間, 社會와 文化를 파괴한다. 왜냐하면 西羊文化는 플라톤 이후의 形而上學에서 파생되었기 때문이요, 西洋의 科學도 西洋의 形而上學의 파생물이며 이러한 파괴 작용을 일으키는 원인은 西洋의 形而上學이 論理(Logik)라는 獨斷(Dogma)에 토대를 두고 있다는 사실에 있다고 지적했다.

In 1973, after accepting an invitation to come to Seoul at the behest of the Korean philosophical society, in a lecture entitled 'Theory and Meditation', Picht stated that Western culture has destroyed nature and humanity alongside society and culture. He went on to implicate Western culture itself as being the reason for this state of affairs since Western culture, as we know it, was derived out of the metaphysics of Plato onwards. Western science is, in addition, a derivative of Western metaphysics and the root cause of its destructive application lies in the fact that Western metaphysics is based upon the dogma of Logik.

말하자면 西洋의 形而上學이나 그의 파생물인 科學은 이론이기 때문에 真理가 아니며, 真理가 아니기 때문에 파괴 작용이 일어나는 것이다. 西洋의 形而上學의 위기는 현재 科學技術文明時代에서 地球를 지배하고 있는 科學는 基督教的이고, 西洋的인 形而上學을 통해서만 가능했고 이 유럽적고 기독교적인 主題는 전인류의 주제가 되었기 때문이라고 갈파했다.

To state it clearly, Western metaphysics and it's derivative science are - owing to the fact that they are theory - not truth (真理).  As such they allow for destructive application. Thus the crisis of Western metaphysics, which in the current scientific-technological era where science - something that at it's core is Christian and has been made possible only through Western metaphysics - has come to dominate the world in consequence of a former purely European and Christian issue that is now facing humanity as a collective whole.

그러면서 西洋式 思考方式인 理論的 合理的 사고 방식은 真理에 도달할 수 없으므로 真理에 도달할 수 있는 새로운 사고방식을 제안하면서 그것을 省察(Meditation)이라고 했는데, 어떻게 하면 이러한 사고방식에 도달할 수 있는가에 대한 방법의 제시가 없다.  이것은 마치 西洋의 實存思想이 죽음에 대한 공포 내지 불안을 지적한데 그치고, 이 불안을 해결하는 방법의 제시가 없는 것과 같은 선에서 정지해 버리는 것과 같다.

Thus, as the Western rational-theoretical way-of-thinking is incapable of stepping into truth, it posits a new way-of-thinking: meditation (省察；the most observing observation). However, no mention is given as to how one is supposed to set out upon this path of thinking in order to achieve it. This is no different than the fear or anxiety towards death that existential thought observes, but then abruptly falls silent about before it can provide any suggestion as to how one may attempt to relieve such anxiety.

真理에 도달하고 죽음에 대한 불안을 없애는 방법이 바로 東洋에서 말하는 修道인 것이다. 佛教에서 말하는 教가 理論이고 禪이 省察인 것이다.  理論이 學이고 省察은 道인 것이다.  哲學은 理論이기 때문에 道가 아니고 學이다.  소크라테스까지는 西洋哲學도 理論이기보다 道의 요소를 지니고 있었다는 것이 지적되고 있다.

The way towards stepping into truth as well as removing one's anxiety associated with death is none other than what is spoken of in the East as 'cultivating dao' (修道). In Buddhism, Teaching is theory whilst Zen is meditation. Theory is study whilst meditation is Dao. As philosophy is theory it cannot be Dao; it (referring to philosophy) can only be study. It must be made clear, however, that up until and including Socrates, Western philosophy, as opposed to theory, contained elements of Dao.


道
Dao

그러면 이러한 真理에 도달하는 사고방식을 획득하려면 어떤 방법, 어떤 과정을 밟아야 되는가?

So then, by which path and along which route must one traverse before one may enter into a way-of-thinking capable of stepping into truth?

真理에 도달하는 사고방식을 획득한 자를 儒家에서는 聖人이라고 하고, 佛教에서는 부처, 즉 覺者라고 하며, 道教에서는 真人이라고 한다.  그러면 이러한 聖人∙覺者∙真人이 되는 길은 어떠한 것인가?

In Confucianism one who has entered into a way-of-thinking capable of stepping into truth is called a sage or 聖人 whilst Buddha or 'the enlightened one' along with 'man in truth' are the respective designations used in both Buddhism and Daoism to describe the same individual. Thus one must ask: "Upon what path does one become a sage, enlightened one or man in truth?"

儒教에서는 人欲之私가 없어지면 되는 것이고, 佛教에서는 執着이 없어지면 되는 것이고, 老子에서는 有為가 없어지면 되는 것이고, 西洋의 精心分析治療에서는 주된 動機가 없어지는 것이고, 人間主義 心理學에서는 缺乏動機가 없어지는 것이다. 西洋의 精神分析이나 人間主義 心理學은 동양의 道처럼 높은 목표를 指向하지는 않지만 동일한 궤도에서 先後가 다를 뿐이다.

In Confucianism this path is achieved when an individual's private greediness is eliminated, whilst Buddhists say it is achieved when an individual's obsessions or attachments are eliminated. Laozi (老子) said it occurs when you eliminate your belief in 'formulaic relationships' (有為), whilst in Western psycho-analytic treatment it occurs when one's dominant impetus is eliminated and humanistic psychiatrists claim it is achieved when one's deficient impetus is eliminated. Whilst Western psycho-analysis or humanistic psychology doesn't aim towards such a lofty goal as the Eastern Dao, it is along the same route whilst only it's outward appearance differs.

이러한 性이나 覺, 無為나 精神分析에서의 自己實現 등 그리고 人間主義 心理學에서의 自己實現化는 이름만 다를 뿐이지, 같은 實物을 지칭하는 데 불과하다.

All of the aforementioned designations, from disposition to enlightenment, from no-form relationships to the self-realization of psycho-analysis and humanistic psychology are merely different in name - they all denote the same substance.

이러한 경지에 이르는 過程을 精神分析나 修道, 특히 佛教의 修道와 비교하면서 기술해 보기로 한다. 大慧禪師는 碍膺之物을 既除하면 覺이라고 했다. 이것은 精神分析에서 콤플렉스(complex)를 제거한다는 것과 통한다.

I will now attempt to describe and compare the psycho-analytic and (mainly) Buddhist cultivating of Dao in terms of courses that are capable of leading to the aforementioned borders (of mankind's potential). The Zen master Da Hui said that only after one has removed all 'true addictions' (碍膺之物) is one said to be enlightened. In psycho-analysis this is what would be accomplished through the elimination of one's complexes.

가슴에 거리끼는 物件, 즉 콤플렉스가 있으면 事物이 그러한 색채로 물들거나 歪曲되어 보인다.  그러므로 이런 것이 없으면 사물이 있는 그대로 드러난다.  말하자면 나의 마음이 現實을 있는 그대로 비쳐 준다.

If there is an object afflicting one's mind (碍膺之物), a complex in other words, then all objects and things become tainted and distorted through that cracked lens, so to speak. Therefore, if such an impediment were to be removed, all objects and things would thereupon appear just as they are. Simply put, one's mind would shine upon reality (thereby showing it) just as it is.

이것이 主客一致，天人合一，空，無為의 境地요, 聖人∙부처∙真人의 자리다.  흔히 參禪을 하는 데 360도를 돌아서 覺에 이른다고 한다.  이것은 西洋의 精神治療 과정에서 被治療者의 精神健康∙人格成熟이 이루어지는 과정을 비교해 보면 이해하기가 쉽다.

There are many terms used to indicate such a state: 'a congruence in subjective and objective realities' (主客一致), 'the fusion of heaven and man' (天人合一), 'space' (空), 'no-form relationships' (無為) are a few examples in addition to the designations of sage (聖人), Buddha, as well as 'man in truth' (真人). Frequently when engaging in Zen Buddhism there is talk of enlightenment being the culmination of rotating 360 degrees. When juxtaposed with the process of achieving a state of mental health and personal maturation in therapists, the meaning of the aforementioned '360 degrees of enlightenment' should become easier to comprehend.

서양의 精神分析에서 모든 人間은 神經症的 요소가 있다고 보는 것이 佛教에서 모든 人間을 眾生으로 보는 것과 같다.  眾生이란 말은 神經症(넓은 뜻에서)이란 말과 같다. 말하자면 모든 人間은 콤플렉스, 즉 碍膺之物이 있다는 뜻이다.

Just as Western psycho-analysis views every individual as possessing neurotic elements, in Buddhism they view every individual as a 眾生. 眾生 may be seen as being analogous with neurosis (at least in a broad sense). Simply put, every individual has a complex or a 'true addiction' (碍膺之物).

神經症은 自身의 절실하고 중요한 감정, 즉 사랑과 미움, 특히 미운 감정을 의식 밖으로 몰아내는 데 성공이 되어서 症狀이 나타난다.  말하자면 自己와 他人에게 이러한 감정을 은폐해서 나타나는 것이다.  그래서 儒家에서는 毋自欺를 강조하게 된다.

Symptoms of neuroses manifest themselves when an individual is successful in burying(?) one's root emotions - either feelings of love or hate, but in particular feelings of hate - into their unconsciousness. In other words, neurosis appears when an individual suppresses his or her emotions either towards others or themselves. Being cognizant of this fact, Confucianism has for many ages thus emphasized that individuals must be aware of and avoid self-deception (毋自欺).

精神治療가 마음속에 있는 그대로를 관찰해서 精神治療者에게 보고케 한다. 被治療者가 마음속에 있는 것을 성실하게 보고를 시작하면 처음에는 우리 어머니는 세상에서 가장 理想的이고 나를 지극히 사랑한다고 시작한다.  이것이 禪에서 말하는 0度 境界다.  그러나 어머니에 대한 感情을 세밀히 성실하게 관찰하게 되면 무언가 언짢는 감정이 있는 것을 발견한다.

Psycho-therapy seeks to have an individual observe exactly what resides in their mind to allow the psycho-therapist to catch a glimpse as well. At the outset, when a non-therapist first begins to sincerely reflect upon one's own inner mind and heart, there is typically a strong tendency to lovingly regard one's mother as the greatest, most exemplar figure in the world. This stage is what would be referred to as the 'Zero Degree' in Zen Buddhism. However, from the time when an individual begins to take heed of such feelings in a deeper and more nuanced manner, one discovers that not all is what one expected; feelings of ill will also exist.

이러한 감정을 계속 드러내면 나중에는 어머니를 죽이고 싶을 정도의 증오심이 끓어오준다.  말하자면 어머니가 원수가 된다.  이 境界가 參禪에서 말하는 180度 境界이고, 山이 山이 아니고 물이 물이 아닌 境界다. 처음에 出發한 0度 境界는 山이 山이고 물이 물이었던 것이 완전한 價值의 顛倒(전도)가 일어난다.  이러한 어머니에 대한 過去의 억압되었던 증오심을 다 표현하고 나의 진정한 감정으로서 받아들이고 왜 그런 감정을 품게 되었나를 이해하고 나면 어머니에 대한 좋은 감정만이 남게 된다.

As these emotions continue to manifest themselves, eventually murderous feelings of hatred towards one's mother manifest. At this point your mother has become your enemy. This stage is referred to as the '180 Degree' stage and is depicted metaphorically in the following poetic utterance: the mountain is no longer mountain, and water is no longer water. Compared this with when one was at the initial 'Zero Degree' stage where mountains were still mountains and water was still water. This second stage appears as a complete reversal of values. Only after expressing these hitherto repressed feelings of malice that the individual has held towards their mother and embrace their true emotions and feelings can an individual understand why they initially held such feelings in the first place. And it is from that point that they are left with nothing but positive feelings towards their mother.

 否定的인 感情과 肯定的인 感情을 다 받아들이고 나면 이 境界가 360度 境界고, 出發點으로 돌아온 것이다.  다시 山이 山이고 물이 물이지만 0度에서 출발할 때의 山이나 물은 아니다. 0度에서는 있는 그대로의 事物이나 自己 他人 世界의 모습이 아니다. 360度를 돌아서 비로소 완전한 있는 그대로의 모습이 나타난다. 否定과 肯定, 陰과 陽, 그것이 現實이고 真理인 것이다.

This stage is known as the '360 Degree Point' where they can, owing to the fact that they have fully embraced their positive feelings as well as their negative feelings, come full circle returning to where they began: Zero Degree. Mountains are now again mountains, and water truly is water, however, they are not the same mountains nor is it the same water one knew or saw at the outset of Zero Degree. What was at the outset was not the appearance of beings, oneself, others or the world as they truly were. It is only upon (re)turning 360 Degrees that everything appears truly as it is. Negativity and positivity as well as concealment and unconcealment (yin and yang, 陰陽) are reality (manifest origin, 現實) and truth (aletheia, 真理).

理論과 現實 또는 真理와의 관계를 參禪에서 十種病을 對治하는 三玄門을 들어서 검토해 보는 것이 적절한 것 같다.

Taking together the relationship between theory, reality and aletheia in addition to the 三玄門 utilized as an alternative treatment (對治) for the '10 root afflictions' (十種病) in Zen Buddhism and examining them is, as I see it, appropriate at this juncture.

佛教에서는 말, 즉 概念이나 理論은 真理를 가리키는 손가락이다.  真理는 달(月)이고, 教는 손가락(指)이다.  三玄門이란 體中玄∙句中玄∙玄中玄을 말한다.

The words, or concepts and theories found in Buddhism are like a finger pointing towards truth (aletheia). Aletheia is the moon (月: the light that shines down illuminating what is and already has been), whilst Teaching is the finger. 三玄門 speaks of 體中玄, 句中玄 and 玄中玄.

體中玄은 佛教의 最高理論인 華嚴經의 教理를 완전히 概念的으로 이해하는 것이다. 다음 段階은 句中玄인데, 體中玄에서 佛教의 理論을 완전히 이해해도 아직 말이 있고 概念이 있고 생각이 붙어 있기 따문에 손가락을 보고 있는 셈이다.  소위 語路∙義路∙聞解思想이 있는 것이다.  科學이나 哲學 등 모든 學은 이 수준에 머물러 있는 것이다.

體中玄 is the absolute conceptual understanding of Buddhism's greatest theoretical work, the Huaan-jing 華嚴經, and it's teachings. The next stage, or 句中玄, is like the previous 體中玄 stage in the sense that it also completely comprehends Buddhist theory in words and concepts, however, since it is during this stage that an individuals own thoughts are attached, it is metaphorically seen to be the same as staring at one's extended finger that is pointing to something or someplace (as opposed to at what the finger is pointing at).* This is the path of speech (語路), the path of righteousness (義路) and an ideology of auditory understanding (聞解思想). Science, philosophy or any other study (學) is stuck at this level.

다음에 句中玄 또는 用中玄은 體中玄의 聞解思想을 없애기 위해서, 즉 概念理論을 떠나고 現實, 즉 여기 이곳 (here and now)을 가리키는 방법이다. 千七百公案 話頭 등 禪問答다.  佛法大意가 무엇이냐고 묻는다면 初玄門인 體中玄의 단계에서는 概念을 가지고 論하는 水準이모로 佛教의 理論을 가지고 답을 삼겠지만, 句中玄에서는 똥 막대기니 뜰아래 잣나무 등이란 대답으로 지금 이곳을 가리킨다.  개념을 떼어 버리고 현실을 가리키는 셈이다.

Next, as a method to signal the here and now, or in other words reality, 句中玄 or 用中玄, seeks to remove the ideology of auditory understanding (聞解思想), or depart from conceptual theory. This is the 'Zen question-response' (禪問答) that is exhibited in such examples as 千七百公案 話頭. When posed with the query as to what the grand meaning of Buddhist proscriptions (佛法大意) may be, those standing at the entrance of the dark gates (初玄門) as 體中玄 will merely reply utilizing the theories of Buddhism since they are of a level capable only of arguing through conceptualizations. Those along the path known as 句中玄 will reply by speaking through examples (e.g. a stick used to point out shit or the pine tree under the roofs ledge and so on). In other words they will indicate what is right here, right now. They have extricated themselves from concepts and are now pointing towards reality.

句中玄에서는 개념을 떼어 버리지만은 아직 말(言句)이 붙어 있다.  그러나 句中玄의 말은 현실을 가리키기 때문에 活句라고 하고, 體中玄의 말, 즉 華嚴經이나 八萬大藏經은 死句라고 한다.  다음의 門은 玄中玄에서 개념은 떼어 버렸지만 말이 남아 있기 때문에 말과 생각을 다 떼어 버리는 방법이다.  離言絕慮가 目的이다.

Along the way in 句中玄, whilst one may have extricated themselves from conceptions, they still remain attached to words (言句). Despite this, because the words spoken along the way in 句中玄 are pointing towards reality they are referred to as 'living words' (活句). On the contrary, words spoken in 體中玄, for example those found in the Huayan-jing or Bawandazang-jing (華嚴經 or 八萬大藏經), are called 'dead words' (死句). Passing through the next gate, or 玄中玄, this is the method in which one extricates oneself from words by tossing away the words that remain after previously freeing oneself from concepts but not words. The objective is to depart from words and end thought (離言絕慮).

佛教大意가 무엇이냐고 질문을 한다면 한참 동안 대답을 않은 良久, 전혀 대답을 않는 默然, 또는 다짜고짜로 몽둥이로 후려갈기는 桻, 또는 소리를 꽥 지르는 喝(할), 禪床 등을 치는 방법을 사용한다. 이것이 가장 으뜸가는 방법이다.  왜냐하면 석가모니가 깨달은 바는 모든 苦行이 다 소용이 없고, 내가 보고 있는 나나 他人世界가 내가 깨다고 있지 못한 내 마음을 投射한 錯覺이기 때문에 現實을 바로 보기 위해서는 내 마음을 돌이켜 비추어야 한다는 것이기 때문이다.

Thus when one is posed with the question of what the grand meaning of Buddhist proscriptions (佛法大意) is, instead of words, such methods as 'virtuous brevity' (良久) where no reply is provided for a long time, or 'tacit revelation' (默然) where no reply at all is provided, as well as the unexpected strike of a stick (棒), sudden screaming (喝) or the Zen-pedestal are utilized. This is the absolute pinnacle, but at the same time the most basic of all methods. The reason for this, as explained through the anecdotal realization of Shakyamuni goes as follows: Asceticism (苦行) in all its forms is of absolutely no use. This is due to the fact that the myself or anyone else that I may be looking at are both realities that I am unable to see clearly since what I see are merely the projected misapprehensions that stem from my unenlightened (or unconscious) mind. Therefore, in order to truly see reality as it is, I must reflect upon my mind throwing light upon it (and consequently on the reality that the mirror of my mind has projected it's light out upon everything).

즉 不取外相 自心返照가 八萬大藏經의 核心이다.  그러므로 佛教의 修道에서 특히 參禪에서 自心返照가 아닌 이상, 自心返照에 이르는 하나의 계단으로서의 價值 이외에 아무런 가치가 없는 것이다. 質問에 대해서 良久, 默然，桻，喝，擊禪床 등의 방법을 사용하면 自心返照를 하지 않을래야 하지 않을 도리가 없는 것이다.  되지도 않는 소리 말고 네 마음을 비추어 보라는 뜻이다.

This speaks towards the crux of the 八萬大藏經 that has been condensed as follows: 不取外相 自心返照.  Therefore in the cultivation of Dao (修道) of Buddhism, and especially within Zen Buddhism, there exists no ideal above reflecting upon and lighting up ones mind (自心返照) and no value beyond the value in achieving 自心返照. There simply is no alternative to 自心返照 that is achieved through the employment of 良久, 默然, 桻, 喝, or 擊禪床 in response to any inquiry that may be made. The meaning of this is simply that, as opposed to uttering a sound - a sound that, to be clear as yet does not exist - one must instead attempt to shed light upon one's mind.

自心返照의 깊이를 「大乘起信論」에 나타나는 바로 보면, 모든 現象은 業識을 外部에 投射한 錯覺이다.  業識은 無意識의 밑바닥이다.  業識이 굴려서 (著者의 견해로는 抑壓이 되어) 轉識이 되고 轉識이 現識이 된다.

If one truly sees the depth of 自心返照 as it appears in the「大乘起信論」, one will come to understand that every phenomenon is merely a misapprehension that stems from the projection of one's karmic consciousness (業識) upon the external world. Karmic consciousness is the nadir of unconsciousness. When karmic consciousness is rolled (or in the opinion of this writer, when it is suppressed) 'rolled consciousness' (轉識) is the result and in turn rolled consciousness becomes 'manifest consciousness' (現識).

여기까지가 無意識이다.  現識으로부터 智識이 파생되고 智識에서 相續識이 파생된다.  智識과 相續識은 意識이다. 대체로 學은 智識과 相續識에 속하는 것이고 正見이 아니라 邪見, 즉 錯覺이다.  業識이 自覺이 되고 淨化가 되면 轉識∙現識 이하가 다 淨化다 되므로 내 마음은 맑은 거울과 같이 現實을 있는 그대로 비추어 준다.  이것이 부처의 境地다.

To make it clear, what has been discussed up until this point has been unconsciousness. From manifest consciousness 智識 is derived and 'inherited consciousness' (相續識) is derived in 智識.** 智識 and 相續識 are consciousness. Generally, study (學) is accepted as belonging to 智識 and 相續識, and it is not considered to be 正見 (meaning the wisdom to accurately judge the true appearance or content or (真相) of every existing formed or formless thing in the universe (諸法). Rather 邪見 (a distorted view that ignores karmic reason or 道理) is a misapprehension or an illusion (錯覺). Karmic consciousness becomes self-realization, and when catharsis takes place, specifically when catharsis occurs to 轉識 and 現識, the result is a mind that is similar to a spotless mirror in the sense that it lights up reality just as it is. This is the region of the Buddha.

부처 다음에 가는 菩薩은 業識이 완전 淨化가 되지 못하고 흔적이 남아 있으나, 이것을 自覺하고 轉識•現識이 되어서 投射되는 일이 없다. 이것은 西洋의 精神分析에서 성숙된 分析者는 主動機 (業識에 해당)의 흔적이 남아 있으나, 이것을 自覺하고 患者 治療에서 投射를 하지 않는다는 점과 일치한다. 그러므로 理論的이고 概念的인 思考 理論은 智識∙相續識에 머물러 있기 때문에 真理에 契合할 수가 없다는 것을 분명히 알 수 있다.

The stage prior to that of the Buddha is known as 菩薩 or bodhi-sattva, and its major difference when compared with the Buddha is that one's karmic consciousness has not undergone complete catharsis and as a result traces remain. That said, however, the individual at this stage apprehends this, 轉識 and 現識 form and projection no longer occurs. This stage is analogous with that of Western psycho-analysis wherein the analyst still possess traces of 'residing motivations' (主動機; analogous with 業識), however, this is apprehended and no projection occurs during patient treatment. Therefore, it should be quite apparent that conceptual theoretical thinking, owing to the fact that it resides within 智識 and 相續識, can never coincide (契合) within aletheia.

이렇게 哲學이 現在의 形態로서는 自己反省의 정도가 智識 이상 거슬러 올라갈 수가 없기 때문에, 自己反省의 극치가 되려면 修道가 되지 않으면 안 된다는 것이 명백해진다. 윌리엄 바렛도 東洋思想이 西洋哲學者에게 도움을 줄 수 있는 것은 플라톤 이래 西洋哲學이 갇혀 있는 概念의 감옥으로부터 해방을 시켜 준다는 점이라고 지적하고 있다.

It is in this way that philosophy in it's current form, due to the fact that the degree of self-reflection it is capable of achieving is no greater than that of 智識, and therefore in order to reach the pinnacle of self-reflection, it should be clear by now that it can only be brought about through the cultivation of Dao (修道). William Barlett pointed out that the contribution Eastern thought can make towards Western philosophers lies in the fact that it is capable of liberating them from the conceptual prison Western philosophy has been locked in from the time of Plato onwards.


結語
Closing Words

이상 哲學의 門外漢으로서 韓國의 思想界∙學界의 病弊를 서양의 精神分析과 東洋의 道를 공부하는 학도의 입장으로 몇 가지를 지적했다.  西洋哲學이 소크라테스 이전에는 道 요소가 우세하였으니까 그의 제자 플라톤 이후로 이론이 되어 버리고 나서는 實存哲學의 形態로서 道의 再生의 기미가 보인다. 우리는 이러한 歷史的 時點에서 피히트가 지적했듯이, 真理에 도달하는 사고방식인 道의 現代的 意義를 깊이 깨달아야 된다는 것을 절감한다.  哲學이 自己反省의 極致가 되려면 理論과 말, 概念으로부터 해방이 되어야 한다.  그것은 東洋思想의 공통적인 특징, 즉 理論은 現實을 가리키는 수단에 지나지 않으며 得意忘言이면 道易親인 것이다.

Above are just a few casual philosophical observations posited from from the perspective of a student of both Western psycho-analysis and Western Dao in regards to the ills currently afflicting Korean thought and academia. It is owing to the fact that within Western philosophy from the time of the pre-Socratics, elements of Dao were ascendent. However, following his pupil, Plato, metaphysics became enmeshed in theory; that is at least until the indicatory re-emergence of Dao appeared in the form of existential philosophy. It is incumbent upon all of us now at this pivotal point in history, that we bear in mind the observation made by Picht: we must fully comprehend the deep modern meaning of the way of thinking that is capable of entering into truth or aletheia: Dao. Philosophy, in order to achieve the highest pinnacle of self-reflection, must free itself of theory, words and conception. That is the shared characteristic of Eastern thought, namely that theory is merely a means to indicating reality and that it is only when one gains the meaning and forgets words (得意忘言) will Dao turn in closer with us (道易親).

이러한 理論과 現實(真理), 學과 道의 문제가 體와 用이 개념과 더불어 우리 나라의 學問, 특히 人文社會科學界에서 충분히 의견이 교환되어 밝혀져야만 우리 나라의 學界나 思想界，國民生活 전반의 혼란을 바로잡을 수 있을 뿐만 아니라, 현재 전인류가 당면하고 있는 가장 중대한 문제의 해결책을 열어 주는 것이라고 확신한다.

I am certain that in this manner, if the issues of theory and reality (truth or aletheia), study and Dao coupled as well as the concept of body and soul (體用) are brought together in a discussion wherein academicians - particularly those of whom hail from the humanity-social sciences - are able to satisfactorily exchange their views and shed light upon them, only then will we, the Korean nation, be able to grab hold of and steady the storm that has led our realm of study (學界), our realm of thought (思想界) and our way of life, at least partially, into the chaos it has found itself in. Moreover, we will be able to open up into the glow that will lead us on the path towards discovering the solutions regarding the biggest problems now plaguing all of humanity.


* A true point-of-view
** 智識: a term denoting an affect of consciousness that gives rise to distorted thoughts devoid of reason regarding objects, and the un-knowing of from whence, in every individuals minds, every object originates.

Forever

If one were to take a cursory walk back into the past and experience what was important (and in some cases may still be, albeit as an eidos of a different sort...) what would stand out as something extra-ordinary?

Three Aspects of Music

As I see it, music in any form reflects three basic aspects: firstly, the artist as the person he or she really is and has been; secondly, music reflects the soul of the surroundings in which it happens and occurs; and thirdly, music chrystalizes time in terms of the natural change of a day comprising all variations of a dawn till another dawn as well as the season and all it's possible esoteric fluctuations as per when it is performed or recorded. 

創造

Creation or creativity. 創造. 창조. From whence does it come? Being of a Western background, but ironically a bit more well versed in the historical flow and emotion of Eastern culture (read: 文化）I shall venture fore in an attempt at thinking creation through by following the lithographical representation that stands before us today. Even a cursory glance at the two characters that comprise the Chinese characters that have come to be seen in translation as creation, read chuangzao in modern mandarin chinese - and as i see - seem to sound an echo of not only the etymological roots of the idea conveyed, but point us towards both a culmination and beginning in the course of humanity that many have turned a blind eye to or more accurately a dead ear towards. 

Anyone who lives in Korea will be familiar with the two characters written above from having confronted them during the course of memorizing the required 2000 character familiarization program proscribed to students through their primary and secondary educations. 創 would have been memorized as meaning 비롯하다 or 'the beginning' or 'to begin with' etc... While 造 will be thought of as 짓다 or 'to build/construct' coinciding with modernity and it's emphasis upon material creation. Already, thinking creation as 'an original or starting building' speaks towards something more than our common conception of creation. However, when looking at the second character and thought through as the combination of it's radicals it becomes defined as a 'going conveying' or as a 'coming conveyance'; it no longer says anything about a purely physical constructing (although it doesn't say anything about the disavowal of constructing as such).  

The first character is more complex and can be viewed in a few more or less obscuring cloaks of shadow. The conspicuous two lines on the right side denote a knife, or a sharp object designed for carving and when those lines are removed the character left standing speaks something of a 창고 or 'a closet' or 'a place to serve as a holder of' or simply put a 곳집 or 'a place home' when translated literally. What is left, 君 jun, is read as sage denoting a wiseman. This character, however can be deconstructed further into 尹 (yin) with a myriad of connotations including a family surname, but the meaning dating from the warring states period conveying 다스림 or control is coincidentally the dominant meaning associated with the character when memorizing it today. This character can be viewed as the construction as the composition of still another radical and line, but as the association between that particular radical and the character at hand is a tenuous one that at this time is not apparent we shall pass over it to the character 口 (kou) meaning mouth. The literal interpretation then, of the character denoting a sage disembarks from the Western conception of a mystical sage down to the most humane idea of an individual who controls or has learned to 'master one's words'. Creation then, may be thought as 'words, whence mastered and stored (committed either to memory or other verbal form) or etched (in writing), that either go and convey or appear as a coming conveyance.  

Creation thus denotes the very moment (thought of as 'everything all at once as one' as opposed to a single snapshot of time with a singular focal point excluding everything else) of civilizations' emergence in tandem with its subsequent elliptically effecting existence that continuously and spontaneously gives rise to civilizing forces at any given moment. 一日不讀書口中生荊棘 is a phrase conveying the thought that should one day pass without reading (words generally seen in the broad sense as "creative words") thorns will grow in one's mouth. Read: thorns will form upon the words themselves obscuring the full extent of their original living import. A dead civilization will still leave behind relics and vestiges of it's former existence, an existence, mind you, that once flourished and was alive in the fullest sense, however, such times are usually obscured by the overgrowth of vines that often enough bear thorns.  

Thus these words speak of words and the living relationship that was set in elliptical motion from the first time that man began to master his words into a going conveyance to whomever via either spoken word or (as the latter addition signified by the two lines meaning either knife or etching) into written word, and every instance of such 'creation' since then. Creation constantly creates civilization that civilizes man constantly. This speaks to what creation, and in the particular the form it has taken in Chinese and Korea, has both conveyed to us up until today and continually conveys to those who listen to the living word by those who have mastered words in their own time and by cutting away thorns from the those words that thrived in a different time in terms of what they have been saying and what they are capable of saying.

Subway Nights

Her lingering scent swirls around me striking my senses, 

as the patter of her descending steps upon granite slabs 

grows fainter and fainter fore. 

She's dissolved into the night, 

and so too have I;  

or have I...

東西南北의 만남

Convergence of East, West, North and South 

개인 노이로제의 경우를 보면 자기의 獨立性과 主體性이 침해당하고 오랜 시일 외부의 침해로부터 벗어나지 못하는 상태가 계속되면 마음속에 나를 압박하고 구속하고 나의 主體性을 침해하는 원수의 代理機關이 자리를 잡는다.  이것이 內在化된 敵이요, 내부의 적이다.

Imagine if one were to have their independence and autonomy infringed upon by some inescapable external party for an extended period of time. In individual cases of neuroses, that oppression and constraint actually takes root in the mind of the individual as a proxy organ of that enemy. In other words you end up with an internal foe.

이 마음속에 자리를 잡은 원수는 항상 마음속의 나를 보고, '너는 못난 놈이다, 세상에서 너와 같이 못난 놈이 어디 있느냐'고 壓倒해 온다.   그려면 그는 늘 이러한  屈辱的인 상태에서만 머물러 있기가 너무나 비참하기 때문에 바로 이 원수를 숭상하고 닮으려고 갖은 애를 쓴다.

This foe, so situated, is perpetually in one's thoughts screaming out, "You aren't shit!" or "There is no one in the entire world as pathetic as you!" Since it is just too miserable to remain in such an abusive state for an extended period of time, efforts are expended to actually revere this internal foe and become like them.

그러고서는 나는 天才다, 유명한 俳優가 된다, 歌手가 된다, 노벨상을 탄다, 大統領이 된다는 등 꿈을 꾼다.  이러한 꿈이 그렇지 못한 현실에 부딪치면 또다시 뿌리 깊은 열등감과 自虐에 빠진다.  이러한 自己卑下와 自己膨脹 사이를 무한정으로 來往하는 것이 노이로제 환자의 심리다.  그러면 건강한 정신이란 어떤 상태를 말하는 것인가? 그것은 한마디로 한다면 主體性이다.

It is in this state that dreams of becoming a genius, a famous actor, a singer, a Nobel Laureate or a president occur. When reality exposes those dreams as not being achieved, the sense of despair and self-torment will intensify. This elliptical cycle of self-disparagement and self-growth is the psychology of a patient suffering from neurosis. So what then is a sound and healthy psychological state? Simply put, it is autonomy(主體性).

主體性이란, 나 즉 나의 감정이 억압됨이 없는 상태이며 내가 나의 主人이요, 自由요, 모든 나의 행동은 나의 선택이기 때문에 잘되거나 못 되거나 나의 책임이란 自覺의 상태를 말하는 것이다.  釋迦牟尼가 외쳤다는 天上天下唯我獨尊, 즉 우주에 있어서 나는 나에게 있어서 가장 존귀하다는 자각이다. 

Autonomy is the state of not being emotionally oppressed by an external force. It is where you are your own lead actor. It's freedom and realizing that, because your actions are solely up to your own discretion, whether something turns out well or not, the ultimate responsibility lies solely within you and you alone. It’s as the Shakyamuni(釋迦牟尼) shouted, "In the heavens above as well as below, I alone am most important!" It is the realization that since the only thing you truly have in the whole universe is yourself, you are what is most precious.

*이 글은 이동식 박사님이 쓴 韓國人의 主體性과 道에서 제 일장에서 나온 韓國人의 思想的 病弊이란 제2과에서 기록된 몇 문단을 뽑아서 올림

*These are a few excerpts taken from the second chapter of Dr. Lee, Dong-shik’s ‘The Autonomy and Dao of Koreans’ entitled “The Ideological Malaise of Korean.” 

Dwelling thoughts

The icy feel of the steel door on my knuckles as they rap against it's hard surface...hoping against hope that inside, inside I might still be able to find...what we can be, again and over still.

The Gods are dead! Gone are the idols...any idol.  Values are revalued devaluating the life we have, might have and have had...  Only hollow concepts now remain, they remain laying flat, sandwiched between morbid texts tattooed with the fake flowers of junkies chasing their own fake flowers from others. Empty concepts kept barely alive with incremental servings of gruel introduced intravenously into their phallic vein confined in those steel cells devoid of the suns reinvigorating rays or the soothing blanket of the moons shadows.

The lights and darks, beams and shadows, contrasts and patterns don't exist here only true death: nothing.   No emotion here, for that contradicts the life, or rather, the lack thereof here.  The most sterile of all; a straight up surgeons wet dream minus the orgasm. 
I'm no longer what I was when I existed as an idea, as eidos... I wasn't a thing, a base object to be stacked upon one another, next to and beneath others to make an academic thought; rather I was part of a relation with you as you stood in front of me, when you stood with me.  And together with the word we traveled together even after you had long disappeared, within the living word that you set up to stand for all those who came after to listen to from out of it's un-concealdness: your true creation.  You created me not through some action but because you knew of me, saw me widely and thought me out into the clearing for me together with your original knowing to think me to others; a true technite.

You are now along a vein of thought believed long collapsed not from overuse like those of a junkies dead forever, but rather like those of an astronauts limbs where blood ceases to flow after time spent in zero gravity for too long.  Dead in death floating in the above abyss but able to live in life below on firm ground; that is what you are struggling back down to.  Can you feel the soil pad your plodding strides back to the origin, where you will think originary thoughts better than those who originated them.

Thinking originary thoughts better than those from whence they came.  One needs to question this statement before and to avoid blindly heading fore.  You come from above, from that empty space you blasted into after shooting your Gods in the face cutting all cords with the values, your anchors that kept you grounded with life.

From up on high you fish down into life catching these steel encased concepts in the holey nets of magnetic isms.  Hoisting them up floating them into some kind of groundless patchwork quilt floating in space ready to breakup again when someone needs a piece or two to complete their own pattern.

But you are down here, not there anymore.  You see now that the steel prison is not a prison and the steel is merely an adaptation to prevent what is inside from disappearing forever.  There is a door, it is small but you are just able to enter.  Inside you spark a blunt, your torch, to expand the light of your thoughts and realize you have comeback to the beginning; the place where you always were and have been.  Now you can see, dwelling with this eidos you think what has and always will continue to be thought so you realize you can hear! I can hear! but I now hear a faint rapping coming from outside these walls...

도둑과 시인

도둑과 시인....

겉으로 바라볼 때는 근본적으로 대비적인 인물이지만 
그들의 늘 울리는 영혼의 리듬은 어디 동일한 원천에서 흘러나온다.  

그랬더니 그들 사이에는 사실상 혈맹으로 다져진 맹방이 존재하고 있겠다.

살아 있는 유리

겨울이 다 되어버렸다. 하지만 이 살아 있는 유리 안에서 가을의 색다른 영혼이 보장되어 있다.

Name-less Thoughts

Treading, head-down
you've gone fore.
Or so you thought.
Head-up, reflecting
on what's more.
Thoughts you had not.
Too late, head shakes
tears fall on all.
Rotting their thoughts.
Head-clear, now you see
fake is their path, was yours.
Thoughts, thoughts...
One wish: head-less,
thoughts name-less now.

Uttering Containers for Being

I strive to utter containers for being.
Open, to be filled with the fullness and emptiness.
Not tightly packed, taped and ready to ship boxes;
something that can be ripped to shreds, 
taped back up,
or worst yet re-cycled.
I want to walk within the two-folds,
un-concealing what is and has been,
the nearest of the near, but
to most the farthest of the far.
I want to only say Saying
to signal there is a Way
and give you a sense
to re-discover what you've been rushing ahead of.
Listen to what has been said Hermenuetically,
and be messenger
for all that is worthy of question, worthy of thought.
Just be in relation to what holds sway:
the welling up of the message of the two-fold's 
un-concealment.
Now I'm just grasping at the essence...
in order to abandon my own path of thinking
to namelessness.