Imagine that you have a black, white or grey car. And let's say pretty much everyone else where you live does too. The car market itself is also pretty restricted so everyone pretty much drives the same few brands and models.
Now imagine you are in a massive parking and you don't remember where you parked. All the parked cars look pretty much the same. In fact there appear to be hundreds of your exact car.
How would you find your car if you could only rely on sight alone?
Maybe you'd remember that ugly scratch on the front right bumper. And then you'd recall the scratched tint on the front passenger window. And so on and so forth, and you would seek those minute, distinguishing details out until you see the car with those matching imperfections.
When everything else looks pretty much the same, you start looking really closely at any distinguishing details or differences.
On the flip side, when a Ferrari or Lambo shows up amongst a sea of black, white or grey Kias or Hyundais, it quite literally offends the senses. Stark deviation is offensive. Or at least that's the way it seems.
The parking lot and car market that I described above actually exists in real life. If you've ever been to Korea, you'll know that's the case.
What's even more interesting is the fact that Koreans tend to scrutinize one another (and anyone else that comes to Korea) the way that you'd look for your white Kia amongst a sea of nearly identical white Kias.
And just to be clear, I don't think that's something unique to Koreans. It's just that people tend focus on differences as a way to differentiate amongst many similar things, and that just happens to apply equally to the people on the sidewalks as much as it applies to the cars in the street.
Now imagine that you are one of those Kia or Hyundai cars, so to speak. You are one Korean amongst an ocean of Koreans. Your features are all pretty much the same with everyone else, with subtle variations here and there, of course.
So people focus on those variations. Eunji's nose is flatter than normal; or Mijung's eyes are smaller than normal; or Sujin's eyebrows are bushier than normal; or Soyeon is overweight (even though she is a size 1).
It extends beyond the physical too though: age, family background, school affiliations, aptitudes become objects of hyper-focus and are - from the perspective of someone not from a homogenous society - scrutinized to death. Literally.
Korea's suicide rate is the highest in the world. I'm not sure if the rate of plastic surgery is tracked, but Korea would top the list if it is. These statistics are for sure a function of the hyper-focus by most members of society on differences.
This explains the stark differentiation between Koreans and foreigners. Or any homogenous society and the in- versus out-group dynamic. Even if you literally adopt Korean citizenship and speak Korean, you will never be seen as Korean; at the most you will seem *like* a Korean.
But this phenomenon, as uncomfortable, damaging, contradictory, and inefficient as it seems, is also understandable. At least it seems understandable to me now. But then again, didn't we invent the remote key so that we can find our car quickly and avoid the hassle of having to look at each individual difference?
