Yesterday was Saturday, January 18th 2014.
By all accounts a seemingly ordinary day - an ordinary day, mind you, that was free of the acrid effluvium that has tended to drift yonder from the "factories of death" that mainland China kindly incubates at the behest of the Devil him/herself (itself?); which is to say it was a good day. I woke up twice. The first time at about 6:20. Two things happened : First, I blindly stumbled over to my kitchen island to find my 'scrip of pills to combat my aching belly (the result of minor food poisoning from a Wednesday luncheon with the CEO smh) and Secondly, just as I was about to lay back down the vibration from my year 2019 LG smart phone drew my attention to one of those weekend ruining text messages - the "you have to come into work on your Sunday for no apparent reason other than the fact that your boss has to come into work" kind of message. Shaking my head again I collapsed under my covers.
In an anxiety induced early-morning dreamscape, I literally demo'd the future most tits version of all video games. It went like this: I awoke in a realm that was identical to my childhood neighborhood save for the fact that instead of being an oval it was in the form of a square, perhaps because the scale was about the size of a single floor in an average, generic corporate office building. This magnified scale essentially meant that each house was a little bigger than a normal bedroom and instead of a grassy front yard there was for some reason (cover perhaps?) the equivalent of a counter-top. Also, some apparently seedy elements appeared to have taken over the upper half of the neighborhood while leaving my lower side intact (there was a visceral feeling of sunshine and happiness on the lower side while the upper side was wrapped in fear and a dark, foreboding cloud).
Of course I decided to take a stroll around my neighborhood and upon entering the limits of the upper side I saw I was about to be summarily jumped so I proceeded to sprint all the way back to my house while being pelted with threats like "we're gonna kill ya" and "our connections run deep" and so on ad nauseam. I actually felt scared when I arrived at my home because I knew someone was following me, but all of a sudden I had this revelation that I alone would have to take on the upper crust scum and fight for my life - so with a kitchen knife in my left hand and a pointed pair of scissors in the right, I squeezed both hands tight. When some goon entered I started off with some verbal sparring leaving him dazed, but still cognizant enough to let me know that if I were to put up any more of a fight I would face swift and severe retribution.
After said Nobel Prize winning speech concluded I proceeded to stab him in the face with the kitchen knife, and then the chest with the scissors partly opened. This later action sent him to the floor whereupon I dislodged the scissors with a *THWACK* only to slam them in his throat and after a little *SNIP SNIP* his trachea was in two. Knowing then that I would have to preempt any other visitor that made their way to me, I ducked under my front yard, err desk, and somehow without even thinking positioned the dream-cam(?) across from me where I could see what was coming my way from either side of my position. I saw one woman menacingly advancing towards my position from the left carrying a knife in one hand. Two things were certain: First, her name was Natasha and Two, I would jump up at the right time and simultaneously restrain the arm in which she held her knife and stab her in the face. It was then that I awoke for the second time.
Needless to say I took the rest of the remaining time in the world by the balls. I watched Heat (1995) for the first time, ran two and a half kilometers in the park across from my house - located on the side of a mother fucking mountain - and before I met my girl to go grab some Cuttlefish Mari (rice, soaked in octopus ink, spread across a square leaf of seaweed laver with 1~2 long, chewy slices of cuttlefish placed in the middle before all being wrapped up into a long roll) I casually read a bit of 孫子's 兵法.
That was my yesterday, how was yours?
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