Goodbyes

[Originally published on Cent]

Holidays come and go for everyone. That's life.

But family can't always go with you after the holidays pass. That's what makes leaving home when the holidays are nearly over so tough.

I remember when I was about 13 years old. It was my first time having to head back to my dorm after a long winter break spent with family.

My parents had driven off hours ago. The dorm was silent. I left my room on the second floor and walked to the end of the long corridor where I curled up in the window nook. I just sat there, staring out the window.

A few cars were still cruising along Lincoln Highway. Tears turned those head and tail lights into multi-sided geometric splashes of color.

All I could think about was the warm memory of the holiday - now long gone - spent together with my family, and how I had been so cold and withdrawn. I felt so sorry. Why hadn't I played that board game with the family like my mom wanted? Why did I just sit on the couch reading the whole time?

But then I remembered the afternoon I spent with mom doing some last minute shopping before Christmas. We had lunch at a Friendly's. I sipped on my strawberry Fribble and listened to my mom talk before telling her all that I had been up to at school. I remembered all the football I watched with my Dad and waking up on Christmas morning with my little brother and sister.

Closing my eyes, I swallowed past the lump in my throat, got up, and went back to my room. The 'KYW // news radio // 10-60' jingle was coming out of my portable Sanyo am/fm radio as I closed the heavy wooden door behind me. Laying down I closed my eyes and replayed the good memories before I drifted off to sleep.

Tomorrow morning my parents are taking me to the airport so I can head back half way around the world to the foreign land that I now call home. I can almost feel that same lump in my throat and those same sad thoughts that went through my mind when I was 13.

Goodbyes are never easy, and no one is ever perfect, but thinking about the good times spent with loved ones makes the bitter pill that one is often forced to swallow after saying goodbye to loved ones and before getting into a regular routine again just a little bit more bearable.